


Aesthetics

by shinchiisanakyojin



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Baker!Jean, Blind guy jokes., Humor, M/M, Mostly black humor though, Sexy Pierced!Jean, blind!armin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-12
Updated: 2016-02-07
Packaged: 2018-02-08 14:23:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 37,511
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1944510
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shinchiisanakyojin/pseuds/shinchiisanakyojin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Appearance is one of the most important things in baker Jean's life. So his interest is easily piqued by the handsome young man that loves vanilla cupcakes. However, Jean starts to see things differently as he finds himself falling in love with someone who couldn't possibly understand the intricate concept of "beauty".</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Yaaay, new story! (Finally!)  
> It took me a while to post it because I changed so many things and had to rewrite this chapter about three times until I was satisfied with the results. *Sigh*
> 
> But now it's here and I hope you guys enjoy it!!! :)

The concept of beauty was something Jean considered extremely important. He started his day by taking a shower and putting on his best clothes.  His hair color was always changing and from time to time he would add another piercing, mostly on his face. At the moment, his hair was black, with a few green strands in his mohawk and he had five piercings on his left ear and another six on the right. The bridge of his nose and his tongue were also decorated with small metal balls.

Of course  his unusual look didn’t really match his workplace: A small, adorable and pink cupcake shop. Even so, he loved cooking and seeing young girls with cute dresses widen their eyes in fear as they saw him was just too amusing for him to give up on that job.

The fact that he worked with cupcakes also showed how much he cared about appearances. A cupcake can’t just be tasty, it has to be beautiful. The decoration is one of the most important parts, just as relevant as  the taste and texture. Maybe that’s why Jean liked it so much. Beautiful things pleased him.

Just like every Saturday, the shift started with a few customers and got packed in the afternoon. Jean was cooking as fast as possible, while the shop’s owner, Sasha, dealt with the money. She loved cooking, but ever since Jean had started working there, she had become responsible for the finances. 

Sasha was daffy and dorky, but she knew very well how to handle a business.  She even hired a cute, tiny girl named Krista to be a waitress. It wasn’t a big shop, so Jean thought it would be a terrible idea, but, apparently, Krista gave insecure straight guys a reason to get into the shop without being mocked by their friends. And Jean had to admit she looked really cute in a pink and white, maid-like outfit. 

After a few hours of intense work, Jean noticed a blond young man, sitting at one of the tables. The man supported his head with his right arm and had his eyes closed. He was good looking, but Jean had to admit he was a little angry seeing someone occupying one of the tables just to take a nap.  The shop was still quite packed, so the brunet just assumed Krista would kick the guy out after a while. Jean even tried to look at the man a few minutes later, as he decorated another batch of fresh cupcakes, but he was gone. What a shame. Jean wish the man would have stayed there, so he could admire his nice features.

 

\---------------------------------

 

When Jean headed home, after his shift, the image of the handsome young man was still  stuck on his mind. He got into the apartment and saw a woman’s bag on the couch. His roommate, Marco, probably had some company. Jean realized his deduction was correct when he saw a piece of paper at the door of Marco’s room. 

They had created this “sign” right after they moved in together. The person inside the room would pass the paper under the door to tell the one outside that he had company. When the second person saw the paper, he would push it back into the room to let the other know he was home, as a way of saying “Don’t come out naked.” or something like that.

Jean softly kicked the paper into the room and took a shower. After he got out, he took his painting materials from one of the shelves and sat in front of the easel in his room. Painting was another one of Jean’s passions and, just like the cupcakes, beauty was one of the keys to achieving success. Jean wondered what it would be like to paint that guy he’d seen earlier. 

As the thought of the man came back  —  Jean had managed to take him out of his mind during the shower  —  he started painting, not really knowing _what_ he was painting. It started with a few  brushes of yellow, like the man’s hair and, suddenly, a nice painting was done. Except his “suddenly” had lasted a little over f our hours. 

Marco was in the living room, playing  _ Mario Kart _ as his roommate got out of the bedroom to clean his brushes. Jean noticed it was really late and he was  _ starving _ , so h e cleaned the brushes and sat by Marco’s side.

“Hey.” He said.

“Hey, man. Wanna play?” Marco asked.

“No. I’m fine. Hungry, actually. Have you eaten?” 

“I have, but you know I’ll always want to eat your food.” Marco chuckled, not taking his eyes off the screen. 

“ Fine.” Jean laughed. “I’ll make us something.” 

Jean prepared a nice dinner and they ate, playing one more round of races on  _ Mario Kart  _ before going to bed.

 

\---------------------------------

 

The next day, the cupcake shop was nearly empty. Sunday was one of these days where just a few families would come, so it was one of the easiest days of the week to work. Jean was preparing a few cupcakes when he heard the door open. He was so focused on the frosting, he didn't even raise his head. As he heard the customer  asking for a simple vanilla cupcake, Jean took one, putting it on top of the balcony before realizing the customer was no one else but the  young man from the day before. The man stood there with his eyes closed,  holding a white cane on his hand.    


“HOLY FUCK, YOU’RE BLIND!!!” He shouted, even before his brain could try to stop him. 

Everyone in the shop stared at him, specially Sasha, with an angry expression. The young man simply rose his eyebrows.

“And you’re clearly not. May I have my cupcake?” The blond calmly asked.

“I-I’M SORRY!!! I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to be rude! Oh my God. I just-I’m sorry! Please have another cupcake!” He quickly took another, putting it beside the first one on the counter. “I just saw you the other day and-...I-I’m sorry!”

“It’s fine. And you don’t have to give me-...”

“No, please. I insist! I swear I didn’t mean to!” Jean was freaking out. He knew he was blunt, but he had never been _so_ rude in his life. 

“Okay, okay. Calm down. Thank you for the extra cupcake.” The blond young man smiled and headed to one of the tables, where he sat and ate his cupcakes. 

Jean wanted to die. He was so embarrassed he couldn’t even look at Sasha as he apologized. She sighed and told him to get back to work.  After a few minutes, the blond man left and Jean didn’t even have the guts to apologize again.

 

\---------------------------------

 

Jean got back home and found Marco  getting out of the shower, wearing just his pants and drying his hair with a towel. 

“Hey, what’s wrong?” Marco asked, worried, putting the towel around his neck.

“Oh, hey. Nothing.” Jean closed the door. “Wanna eat?” 

“Of course.” Marco smiled and went into his bedroom, probably to put on a shirt.

As they were eating Jean decided it would be best to tell him about the incident.

“I was rude to a guy today.” He started.

“Jean, that’s not news.” Marco chuckled.

“He was blind. And I  _ shouted _ ‘YOU’RE BLIND!!!’ at him.” Jean said, serious.

“Oh... Why the fuck did you do that?” Marco asked.

“I didn’t mean to! I noticed him the other day and I thought he was sleeping, but he wasn’t. And I was surprised, so it was more like ‘Oh, so you’re blind, not sleeping.’ but it ended up coming out as ‘Jesus fuck, get away from me!’.” Jean explained, hoping Marco would understand.

“Well... You fucked up. But did you apologize?”

“Yeah, of course! I said I was sorry, like, a million times!” 

“And what did he say?” Marco asked.

“He smiled and said it was okay.” Jean replied.

“Then why are you so nervous? He said it was fine, and you apologized. Just relax, you didn’t _mean_ to say it.”

“ I-I know, it’s just... What if he doesn’t come back? Ever?” 

“There will be more customers, Jean. Calm down.” 

But Jean didn’t want “more customers”. He wanted _that guy_. He wanted to see him, everyday, all day.  What the hell was up with that? He couldn’t understand  _ why _ he had this _need_ to keep looking at this man, but he just  had to. 

He decided to let it go and they both went to bed. Jean stared at the canvas he’d painted the day before, continuously remembering his embarrassing moment with the good looking blond man. He ended up having to force himself to sleep, hoping the night would take away all those thoughts. 

It didn’t.

 

\---------------------------------

 

The next day, there was no sign of the young man. Jean didn’t expect him to show up, but he was still disappointed about it. Specially when the man didn’t show up on Tuesday either. Actually, for the rest of the week there was no sign of him. Jean was sure he wouldn’t come back anymore. 

But then, Saturday came. Like he’d done during the whole week, Jean turned to the door when he heard the little bell on top of it ring. And there he was. The blond man... Holding some woman’s arm. 

_ Fuck. _

Jean couldn’t understand where all that jealousy was coming from. He didn’t even know this man. He might be a little attracted to him, but this was getting ridiculous. Still, he couldn’t take his eyes off the blond as his beautiful brunette girlfriend lead him to the chair he sat on and approached the balcony to ask for a few cupcakes.

Like the usual Saturday, the store was filled with customers, so Jean couldn’t take a proper break. And by the time he looked at the table again, there were two girls sitting on it, chatting. He’d left.

 

\---------------------------------

 

Jean was _bummed_ as he arrived at work on Sunday. He prepared everything and waited for the customers to arrive, thinking about how he missed the chance to talk to the blond man. Sasha sat on her stool in front of the cash register,  making sure they had enough change for the day. 

The bell on the door rang and Jean instinctively turned around to see the blind man entering the store. He slowly walked to the balcony and asked for a vanilla cupcake. Jean was just finishing the frosting in one of them, so he made sure to do his best work, making the most perfect cupcake on Earth and handing it over to the man. 

... Who couldn’t see.  Once again Jean felt like an idiot.

Still, he had to do something. He didn’t care if this guy was straight, he didn’t need to be his boyfriend. Jean just wanted to be friends with him, to talk to him, to... _See_ him. Even though he didn't quite understand the reason why.

He waited until the man finished his cupcake and got closer, taking a deep breath.

“H-Hi.” He said.

“Um... Hello.” The man smiled, turning to Jean, his eyes closed, as usual.

“I-I... You know-I... Look-... The thing is-...” Jean didn’t really know how to say ‘You know what? I don’t know you but I’m obsessed with you, so can we be friends?’ without sounding creepy. “ Do you wanna go see a movie?”

_ ...Wow. You are the most stupid person on Earth. _

“Um...” The man started.

“I mean! H-Hear! Maybe. Huh... I d-dunno, just-... I-...”

“Hey, it’s okay.” He laughed. “I know what you mean, but... Can I ask you something?”

“S-Sure.”

“Who the hell are you?” 

“O-Oh. I’m sorry! Of course, duh. I-I’m Jean Kirstein. I’m the... I’m the cupcake guy.”

“Ohhh, the non-blind guy. I see.” He chuckled.

“I. Am. SO sorry for that day. I swear, I didn’t mean to-... I just saw you and thought you were sleeping, and then...” 

“Relax. It’s fine. But I’m not going to the movies with you.” He said with the sweetest smile and it broke Jean’s heart.

“Oh... O-Okay. Um... Sorry to bother you.” He got up. “I-It’s okay for me to ask... Why?” 

“Of course it is.” He was still smiling. “I don’t know you. We can go to the movies if we get to know each other. I’ll come back next Saturday and maybe we can chat after your shift, right here on the shop?”

“Y-Yeah! Sure! Of course!” Jean smiled. “That’d be great!” 

“Okay then. Until next Saturday, Mr. Kirstein.” 

“Wait! W-What about you? What’s your name?” The man was about to turn around when Jean asked.

“I’m Armin Arlert.” 

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Jean is constantly embarrassed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry it took me so long to update this!!!  
> A lot of things happened. orz  
> Anyway, I hope you like this chapter.

Jean spent the whole week trying to contain his excitement for Saturday. The shop was busy, as usual, but the brunet would still turn around whenever he could to check on the door. Even so, there was no sign of Armin.

As the hours passed, Jean was starting to think he wouldn’t come. He tried to focus on the frosting and stopped looking at the door, no matter how curious he was. His thoughts continued to fill his mind, wondering why Armin had given up on coming.

Fifteen minutes before Jean’s shift was over, Armin showed up and requested two of his usual vanilla cupcakes. Jean gave him one, smiling like an idiot.

“Hey. I thought you wouldn’t come.” He admitted.

“Why? I told you I’d come, didn’t I?” Armin smiled and took the cupcakes.

“Y-Yeah, you did.” Jean chuckled. “Enjoy your cupcakes. We’ll talk in fifteen.”

“Alright.” Armin smiled and headed to his table and sat down.

After fifteen minutes, Sasha went home, leaving the keys to the shop with Jean. The other customers took another five minutes to leave and Jean finally sat down in front of Armin. The blond was finishing the first cupcake.

“Oh my God, you are so slow.” Jean chuckled.

“I like to enjoy my food. Take my time, feel the taste, et cetera.” Armin explained, with a soft smile, as he slid his hands on the table, feeling the second cupcake.

His hands searched for the edge of the wrap, pulling it down to eat. He took a bite and cleaned the tip of his nose, where the frost had touched. Jean took a few minutes staring at the blond, watching his satisfied face as he ate.

Suddenly, the man reached out, touching Jean’s arm over the table, like he was checking if the brunet was still there. When he realized Jean hadn’t left, he took his hand back.

“Did you invite me here to watch me eat?” He chuckled.

“W-What? No! I’m sorry! I just-... Huh... So, how old are you?”

“Twenty four.” He replied. “What about you?”

“Same. Huh... Do you work?”

“Of course I work. How do you think I pay for all these cupcakes?” Armin laughed, leaning against the back of his seat, taking another bite of his cupcake.

“And what do you do?” Jean laughed.

“I’m a pianist.”

“Oh, really? That’s awesome! Would you let me hear you play?”

“Sure. If you pay the ticket.” Armin chuckled.

“Huh, yeah, sure.” Jean laughed. “When is it?”

“There’s a recital next weekend. But you’ll have to run. You get out at eight, right? It’s eight thirty.”

“I’ll be there!” Jean assured him. “Um... And... What do you like, I mean, your hobbies?”

“Can _I_ ask a few questions?” Armin asked, straightening himself up.

“Oh, sure. Yeah, go ahead.” Jean immediately agreed. He didn’t even realize he was asking all the questions so far.

Armin put his cupcake on the table, straightening himself up on his seat.

“Why did you ask me out?”

“Well, honestly... I dunno. I mean, I didn’t really ask you out! I just wanted to talk to you. For some reason I felt attracted to you. I’m sorry.” Jean honestly replied.

“Why are you apologizing?”

“Well, usually straight guys don’t like being, like you said, ‘asked out’ by gay guys, so...”

“Hey, let me tell you a secret.” Armin got closer, slightly bending himself over the table.

Jean copied his moves and they were inches away from each other. So close Jean was blushing.

“Blind people can be gay.” He laughed and sat down again, looking for the rest of his cupcake over the table.

“W-What?” Jean blushed even more, confused.

“Come oooooooon! You _did_ asked me out, I said yes, I’m in a cupcake shop all alone with you... Did you seriously think I was straight?”

“I-I just... I saw you with your girlfriend. The good looking, brunette girl.”

“You _do_ remember I can’t see, right?”

“Oh! I-I’m sorry! I forgot! Huh... She...”

Jean tried to think about something else, but he didn’t even know the girl. How was he supposed to describe her?

“I know who it is, relax.” Armin laughed. “Anyway, she’s just my roommate, Mikasa. She’s not my girlfriend.”

“But you were holding her arm.”

“Because I hate this stupid cane and it takes me half the time to be taken by someone.” Armin said, shaking the white cane by his side.

“Oh... I see.”

“ _I_ don’t.” Armin said with the most innocent smile as he finished his cupcake.

“I-I-I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to-! I-!”

Jean was getting more and more embarrassed by the second. He could feel his cheeks burning and his palms sweating. He didn’t know if he should laugh, chuckle or just be quiet, yet Armin was so calm.

“You see, _t_ _hat’s_ one of my hobbies. Making sighted people uncomfortable.” He laughed. “Hey, I’m thirsty, can we go somewhere and have a drink?”

“A-are you serious?”

Just the thought of a blind person drinking was funny enough, but imagining _Armin_ , the owner of that angelical face, getting drunk was even funnier. Jean was sure it was another one of his weird jokes.

“Of course I am.” Armin smiled and got up, taking his cane. “Where’s the trashcan?”

“Oh, it’s right over there.” Jean pointed at it before _remembering_.

_I. Hate. Myself._

“Huh... Let me...”

Jean took the wrap from Armin’s hand and threw it away. Armin got out and Jean closed the shop, putting the keys on his pockets.

The blond waited for him, bending the his cane several times until it was small enough to put inside in the big pocket of his jacket. Armin extended his hand, looking for Jean’s arm and taking it.

“That’s really cool.” Jean commented.

“What?”

“Your cane.”

“Oh, thanks.” He chuckled. “Anyway, let’s go?”

Jean started to walk and Armin followed him. The brunet made sure to walk in a slow pace and let Armin know what was ahead, but the blond asked him to stop. Apparently, taking Jean’s arm was enough for him to guide himself on the streets.

And he wasn’t lying. Jean didn’t walk really fast, so his usual pace was enough for Armin to follow him without major issues. The only moment Jean had to warn him was when there was something on the floor, like a can or a hole, so Armin wouldn’t trip. Jean thought it was incredible how the blond could even know _where_ they were. 

As they got to the bar, the two men ordered their drinks. It wasn’t really crowded, but a few fans were watching some soccer game in the corner.

“Huh... What about sports? Do you like them?” Jean asked, sitting at a table.

“Meh... Kinda. Some of them are quite boring to me.” Armin shrugged, sitting right in front of Jean. “Like tennis.”

“Why don’t you like tennis?” Jean chuckled. “It’s so cool!”

“Jean, I don’t know what tennis is like to you, but to me is ‘plock’, ‘plock’, ‘plock’; ‘Fifteen-Love.’” Armin said and both of them laughed.

Jean wasn’t sure if he should, but the laugh was stronger and faster than his will to hold it in.

“You know you’re going straight to hell for laughing, right?” Armin said, taking a sip of his drink, still chuckling.

“I-I know. Oh my God, I’m so sorry, but you’re so funny.” Jean was trying to stop. “Okay, forget sports. What else do you like?”

“I like to read.” Armin smiled.

“Really? Isn’t it... Hard? I mean, you use the little dots, right?” Jean took a sip of his drink.

“...Yes, I use the ‘little dots’. And Mr. Louis Braille is turning on his grave right now.” Armin laughed, drinking once again.

“Oh, shut up!” Jean laughed.

“Anyway, I don’t know. I like to read, I like to learn, so...” Armin shrugged. “I just don’t really mind it. I’m used to it.”

“I see... And don’t reply! I know you can’t see.” Jean rushed to stop him.

“Sir, I find that extremely offensive.” Armin said, with a serious expression that barely lasted two seconds before both of them started laughing.

The two men spent a few hours chatting and Armin was taken home. The blond insisted he could do it on his own, but Jean wouldn’t budge. It was late and he wanted to make sure Armin would be safe.

They stopped in front of Armin’s building — Which the little bastard, somehow, knew perfectly where it was. — and Jean turned the blond around, so he could see his face. Armin was shorter, so the brunet used his index finger to lift the man’s chin. He just felt the need to look at those wonderful features.

He looked so good. He was _so_ handsome Jean felt a little sorry for him for not being able to look at himself in the mirror. To the brunet, no one on Earth could be so perfectly sculpted like this man.

“Hey.” Armin said, in a low voice, taking Jean away from his thoughts. “Are you going to kiss me, or...?”

“What? S-Sorry! That’s not it! I-...” Jean said, quickly stepping away and letting him go. “Huh... Can I have your number or... Something?”

“...Sure.” Jean could swear he saw a hint of disappointment in Armin’s smile.

“Oh, hold on a sec. Let me get mine.”

Jean took out his cellphone from his pocket and saved Armin’s number on his contacts.

“That’s your cellphone, right? I’ll give it a call so you have my number too.”

“Alright.”

“Well, huh... Good night, then.” Jean said, looking at Armin’s pink lips, feeling his heart beat faster.

“Good night.” The blond said as he took his cane out of his pocket and entered the building.

Jean was walking away as he remembered the blond’s expression, a few minutes earlier. His own heart was still asking for that kiss as he turned around, calling out the blond’s name. Armin had barely turned around as Jean ran up to the front of the building, held the blond’s face in his hands and gave him a kiss.

It was a simple, sweet kiss, but Jean felt so embarrassed he thought he might die. He didn’t ask for permission, he didn’t know if Armin actually wanted it, but he’d done it. 

“S-SORRY!!!”

The blond stood at the building’s door, not moving for a few seconds. Jean used that time to shout and run away. If his heart was unsettled before, now it was just desperately beating inside his chest. One thing was certain at that moment: Jean had never ran so fast in his entire life.

 


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which there's a date.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I. Am. So. Sorry!  
> As you can see, I'm late again. The thing is, I've been incredibly busy, so I'll just ask you guys to be patient and expect at least a week for the new chapters. :(  
> Still, thank you very much for the support, I'll keep doing my best to update as soon as possible!

Loud bangs on the door woke Jean up from his sleep that day. The brunet looked at the clock and it was six in the morning. He didn’t even need to ask who it was before he opened the door.

“Hey, Levi.” 

“Put on some fucking clothes, you little shit.” The short man replied.

“Geez. Good morning to you too.” Jean yawned and got back to his room, putting on the first pair of pants he could find and took the canvas he’d painted after meeting Armin.

Levi was his neighbor and the owner of a gallery downtown. They had started to talk about art as soon as they met and, later, Levi offered Jean a spot in his gallery whenever the young man had a new artwork to expose, in exchange for twenty percent of the selling price.

“Here.” Jean handed the painting over to Levi.

“How much do you want for it?” Levi asked, looking at it.

“Whatever you think it’s worth. To me, this painting means too much. I wouldn’t be able to put a price.”

“Then why are you selling it?”

Jean tried to find a way to explain to Levi why he wanted to expose that painting. Not only it was the first work he’d been proud of in the last couple of months, but it also represented Armin. Not necessarily Armin, the amazing guy he met, but Armin the perfectly sculpted angel. The first Armin Jean had seen, sitting at a table in the cupcake shop. That gorgeous creature put on Earth for the sole purpose of making Jean go crazy with inspiration.

“Because I think everyone deserves to see what I see.” It was all he could come up with. It was the only way to explain how wonderful Armin was. Even though no art form on this planet could be enough to properly describe it.

“...Whatever. Anyway, I’ll see what I can get. Bye.”

And with that, Levi was gone and Jean could go back to bed. Except, he couldn’t sleep anymore. Not after the image of the blond filled his mind whenever he closed his eyes.

 

\---------------------------------

 

Jean was nearly running down the street as Marco tried to catch up to him.

“Come on! We’re late?” Jean said.

“And whose fault is that? You took _two hours_ to get ready!” Marco complained.

“Shut up!” Jean spat back as they got to the booth and got their tickets.

The hall where Armin would be performing was big, but it was almost completely full by the time they got there. Jean looked around, amazed by the crowd.

After a few minutes, the lights were dimmed and Armin slowly walked up to his piano, not even using his stick. His movements were probably perfectly memorized and rehearsed, because they were so perfect it seemed almost robotic.

The blond took a bow as the public applauded and his leg touched the piano stool, to guide him as he sat down perfectly. If it wasn’t for his constantly closed eyes, no one would ever guess that he was blind.

He touched just one of the keys for a moment and positioned himself better. For a few seconds, his delicate fingers rested on the keys before he finally decided to move them.

It felt like a wave, hitting an unprepared Jean waiting by the shore. The way Armin played was so passionate, so intense, so _unlike him_ that the brunet had to keep focused on his face to make sure it was still the man he’d met.

After what seemed to be ten minutes in Jean’s mind, the recital was over. The brunet had slowly sunk his body into his chair, like he was melting on the spot. Marco gave him a gentle slap on the arm and he raised a hand, asking for a moment.

It was like his mind had been invaded by a storm of inspiration, so big he couldn’t even keep everything inside. Jean got up, leaving the hall in a rush. He needed to use that inspiration, he couldn’t let it go away.

“J-Jean! Wait! Where are you going? You’re not gonna talk to him or...?” Marco asked, following him.

“No. Gotta get home. Gotta paint.”

“Oh my God. I hate it when you’re like this.” Jean didn’t look back, but he was sure Marco was rolling his eyes.

Even so, Jean couldn’t help it. When he got something on his mind that he felt like he needed to express, nothing would stop him.

He got into the apartment, not even bothering to close the door before throwing his jacket on the couch and taking off his pants, throwing them somewhere in his room. He took his inks from the closet and didn’t even bother to take out his brushes. His fingers would be enough.

 

\---------------------------------

 

Jean’s phone rang, the next day, close to the headboard of his bed. The brunet slowly rose his head, still sleepy, as he heard the ringtone coming form the pocket of his jacket. He stretched himself to reach the garment placed on his nightstand.

It took him a few seconds to reach the loud device and answer it. From the other side of the line he could hear Sasha shouting at him.

“FINALLY!!! Where the fuck are you, Jean?” She asked, sounding angry.

“Uhgnnn... I’m in bed. What time is it?” Jean replied, rolling over to lay on his back.

“Ten thirty in the morning!”

“WHAT!?” Jean sat on the bed, checking his alarm clock. “Holy shit, I’m sorry, Sasha! I’ll be right there!”

“Fine.” She hung up without saying anything else. It was a bad sign.

Jean got out of the bed just to see his sheets and pillow covered with several ink stains of multiple colors. When Jean got to the bathroom, his whole face and clothes were ruined as well. He quickly took a shower and left the home after making sure he was presentable.

Sasha didn’t even say anything besides “Frosting.” as he got into the shop. Jean made sure to start working right away. When the day was over, Jean was ready to be yelled at.

“What the fuck happened this morning?” Sasha asked as they were cleaning the shop.

“I’m sorry! I stayed up all night...” Jean sighed.

“...Was it because of the blind boy that always comes here?”

“What?! No! We didn’t-! We’re not-!” Jean blushed.

“Oh... Really? Wow. Anyway, so what the hell were you doing that was so important?”

“I was... Painting.” Jean admitted.

“Painting. That’s why you were late for work.”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to!”

“Fine. Just go. But _don’t_ be late tomorrow!”

“Yes, ma’am.” Jean nodded and left the shop, taking out his phone.

No calls from Armin.

Jean sighed and got back home, feeling down. He didn’t mean to kiss the boy like that, it just... Happened. He wondered if that stupid move had cost him his friendship.

As he got in, Marco was sitting on the couch, playing video games, as usual. Jean sat by his side and starred at the screen, watching his friend play.

“Wanna tell me what happened to your sheets?” Marco asked, not taking his eyes off the game.

“I dunno. I was painting and I guess I must’ve gotten tired and just laid there.” Jean shrugged.

“You do know that you’re weird, right?”

“Yes, I do.”

“Good. So, have you talked to Armin after the recital?”

“No.”

“Why not?” Marco paused the game, turning his face.

“I kissed him. And I don’t think he liked it. I’ll never speak to him again.” Jean threw his head back, grunting.

“You kissed him? When?!” Marco turned his whole body around to hear the answer.

“Last weekend. I took him home and I thought he wanted it, but... He didn’t call and didn’t show up at the shop today. I think he hates me.”

“...Call him.” Marco said, with an angry expression.

“What?”

“Call. Him. You have his number, what if he’s just busy or something?”

“...I... I dunno.”

“Fine. Then go fuck your painting.” Marco turned back to the screen, playing the game.

“Ugh, _fine_. Whatever.” Jean got up, going to bed. “I’ll call him tomorrow.”

That said, the brunet headed to his room and caught a glimpse of his painting. Jean had no idea how he could paint something so beautiful. He loved his painting and he realized how much me missed that feeling.

As he laid in bed, the couldn’t help himself and looked at the painting’s direction once or twice again. His smile didn’t leave his face as he drifted into sleep.

 

\---------------------------------

 

After his shift, the next day, Jean decided to skip the call and head straight to Armin’s home. He remembered the building very well, but he had no idea what the apartment number was. So much for not calling.

He took out his phone, struggling with the cupcake box he held, ready to give Armin a call. The blond took a while to answer it.

“Hello?” Armin’s sweet voice could be heard from the other side of the line.

“H-Hey, Armin. It’s Jean. Huh... I’m actually in front of your apartment. I hope it’s okay...”

“Oh, sure. Let me open the door.”

Jean heard a low “Ow!” after a few seconds, and he wondered if Armin had hit something inside his house. Then, the door made a sound and Jean was able to push it open.

“Alright, it’s open. I’m in.”

“Apartment 104.” Armin said and hung up the phone.

Jean got up the stairs and looked around the hall before spotting Armin, standing in front of the door. The brunet got closer and realized the other didn’t have his cane with him.

“Hey. I brought you cupcakes.”

“Ohhh, thank you!” Armin let out a soft moan as he slowly searched for the box in Jean’s hands, taking it.

“Why are you in the dark?” Jean asked as he realized all the light inside the apartment were turned off.

“Why would I need light?” Armin chuckled, getting into the apartment like he could see everything perfectly.

“Oh... I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to-...” Jean got in, turning on the lights.

“Ohhhhh my Good, will you _stop_ apologizing?” Armin laughed. “I’m just explaining it to you. I’m not mad. Geez.”

“I-I’m sorry.” Jean said involuntarily, before Armin turned around, furrowing his eyebrows. “Huh, hey, let’s eat! Have you had dinner yet?”

“Nope.” Armin lowered himself, touching the center table and put the cupcakes on it. “What do you wanna order?”

“Hum... Why don’t we cook?”

“I’m not allowed near the stove.”

“...You’re not _allowed_?” Jean rose his eyebrow, wondering who forbade Armin to use the stove.

“Yeah, the Fire Department won’t let me cook anymore. I’m always burning stuff.”

Jean was surprised to hear that, but it made sense. He would have a hard time learning how to cook without being able to see.

“Is it that hard to cook as a blind person?”

“What? Oh, no! I wouldn’t be able to cook even if I had fifty senses.” Armin laughed. “I just suck.”

“So... Can I cook for you?”

“If you want to. But ordering is just easier.”

“No, come on. We’ll make some spaghetti with hot dogs.” Jean wanted to start with an easy recipe.

“I’m sorry, ‘we’?”

“Yes. We. Come, I’ll help you.”

Jean pulled Armin to the kitchen and they started to cut up the hot dogs. It was impressive to see Armin cook, because he could do pretty much anything Jean did, just in a different way. His hot dogs weren’t perfectly cut, but the size was pretty much the same.

The blond was a little angry because Jean managed to cut all of them while he was still working on the second, but it just generated a few jokes and laughs.

Until that moment, Jean was still unsure about his feelings. He feared his love for Armin was just the sound of his artist self, craving for the blond’s beauty. But now, being here with that man, even when Jean wasn’t looking at him, his heart would still beat much faster than usual.

_When did I fall in love like that?_

“What now?” Armin asked as he carefully put the hot dogs into the pot, dropping a few.

“We’ll stick the hot dogs into the spaghetti.” Jean carefully took the fallen hot dogs into the pot, pretending nothing had happened.

“Okay.”

Armin took one of the sliced pieces and started to look for the spaghetti. It was a little weird to watch, because even though his fingers worked skillfully to find the right place to stick the pasta, his eyes rested peacefully and his face was turned to his front. Usually, people would look at what they were doing, but, to Armin, looking down would be useless.

Jean decided to stop starring and start working on the meal. A few more minutes of chitchat later, they were done and waiting for it to be ready. The brunet was preparing the tomato sauce, with a little pepper as Armin set the table.

After everything was done, Jean put the pot on the table and served them both.

“There you go. I hope you like it.” Jean said, sitting in front of him.

“It smells good!” Armin said as he started eating.

Dinner was always fun for Jean. Marco was a great friend and Jean loved his company, but it was different with Armin. Maybe it was because Jean’s whole body heated up whenever he was around, maybe it was because the blond was a walking and taking inspiration for him, or maybe it was just because Jean wanted to kiss him so badly.

Either way, that line of thought made him remember the kiss they had shared. Jean looked down, wondering why Armin had even let him inside the house after that. Maybe he really _did_ want Jean to kiss him. That thought went straight to Jean’s cheeks, making him blush like a little girl.

After dinner, the brunet got up and put the dishes in the dishwasher to help Armin. The blond headed to the living room, sitting on the couch, turning on the TV.

“Huh, maybe I should go? It’s getting late...”

“If you want to...” Something about Armin’s tone made Jean want to stay so badly.

“Hey, look, I’m not very good at this, okay? This subtle tones, hints and everything, so... I’m just gonna ask, okay?” Jean said, sitting on the couch beside the other. “Did you like the kiss I gave you?”

Armin had a hint of a smile as he turned his face to Jean. The brunet wondered if he did it just so it wouldn’t be weird for him to talk to someone looking the other way.

“I did.” He said with a soft smile and Jean involuntarily smiled.

“Can I... Can I do it again?”

“Yes, you can.” Armin chuckled.

Jean took a few seconds to gather his courage and gently touched Armin’s lips. Several small, sweet kisses were exchanged before Jean gently guiding his tongue into the blond’s. For a moment he thought it had been a bad move because Armin suddenly pushed him away, breaking their kiss.

“OH MY GOD, WHAT’S THAT ON YOUR TONGUE???” The blond asked, blushing.

“Oh... It’s a piercing.” Jean said, a little less apprehensive.

“That’s what a piercing feels like? I didn’t even know you had one!”

“T-There's more, actually.”

“Really? Where else do you have them? If someone asked to see them would it be sexual harassment or...?”

“What?! No!” Jean laughed. “Just on my ears and nose. No weird places. I’m not that brave.”

“Let me check!” Armin said, smiling, as he took Jean’s face in his hands.

Those soft hands slid to his nose, gently touching the bridge and brushing against the piercing. Armin made a few noises like low “Ohh” and “Hmm”s as his hands wandered Jean’s head to reach his ears.

“Holy fuck, how many piercings do you have on your ears?”

“Just six on the right and five on the left.”

“It must’ve hurt like hell.”

“Not really. Well, the nose one did hurt a little, actually.”

Armin gave him a soft chuckle before pulling him closer by the nape and kissing him again. Jean was enjoying the kiss until he realized the blond’s tongue wouldn’t leave his damn piercing alone.

 _He’s playing with it. This little shit is actually_ playing _with it!_

The brunet let him do so for a while before pulling his head back, breaking the kiss.

“Stop it!” Jean laughed.

“Whyyyyy? It feels so goooood! Why did you put that in your tongue if it’s not for people to play with it?” The blond shared his laugh.

“Because it looks good.”

“It doesn’t look good to me.”

“What? Really?” Jean delicately pushed Armin away, to look at him.

“...Jean, I can’t see.” Armin chuckled.

“Oh...”

Of course it didn’t “look good”. Armin didn’t even know what Jean’s face looked like. It was so hard for someone like Jean, that always cared about appearances, to grasp the concept of never being able to see anything. Right now, Armin was just kissing him without even knowing he had any piercings. Armin didn’t know his skin color, the shape of his eyes, the color of his hair... Nothing.

“You’re not gonna stop because I said this, are you?” The blond looked disappointed.

“Huh? No! I was just thinking...”

“About what?”

“What’s it like to... Be blind?”

“What’s it like to be sighted?”

“What?”

“Jean, I’m blind since birth. I don’t know what it’s like to see. You can say ‘being sighted is seeing things’ and I can say ‘being blind is _not_ seeing things’, but in the end we’ll never know what’s it like to be in each other’s shoes.”

Armin’s words echoed through Jean’s mind for a while before the blond gave him another kiss.

“Don’t do this. Please, just don’t treat me differently. I just want to enjoy being with you.” Armin asked, sighing.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to...”

“It’s okay... Just kiss me.” Armin said in a low voice as he pulled Jean’s collar, bringing him closer.

For a few minutes they exchanged a few more kisses, that took Jean’s mind off the weird mood he had created. So much, that _another_ mood was created and Jean’s bold hand moved to Armin’s back, slowly lowering itself to reach the blond’s bottom.

“Sir, take your hands off me, it’s not gonna happen.” Armin chuckled, giving Jean another kiss.

“What? Why?” Jean didn't really have anything in mind, but that short and rough denial felt a little insulting.

“Are you insane? We're not there yet. We’ll do it when we get to know each other a little better.” He gave Jean’s cheek two soft taps accompanied by another kiss and a hand reaching his phone on the table.

“00:34; Ringer: 100%.” Armin's phone started talking as he pressed the button to light up the screen.

“Holy fuck, your phone talks to you.” Jean chuckled. “That so cool.”

“Hm... Thanks?” Armin laughed.

“Anyway, it’s late. I should go.”

“I wish I could disagree.” Armin got up from the couch, walking to the door.

“You can move really well inside your house. You don’t even need your cane.” Jean commented.

“Well, I’ve lived here for a while. But I still hit a few things once in a while.” The blond smiled.

“Will you come to the shop on Saturday?” Jean asked, leaning against the door frame.

“Of course.” Armin smiled. “See you later.”

“See ya.”

A couple of seconds later the couple exchanged another kiss before Jean finally left. He was so glad the way home seemed much prettier than usual. Armin sure had a way to make Jean’s mind find beauty in the most ordinary things.

 


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Jean learns more about Armin.

A whole month had passed since that dinner. Jean was at home, getting ready to go meet his boyfriend as he heard his phone ringing. He took the device, saw Levi’s name on the screen and remembered about the exhibition that was taking place at that same moment.

“Hey, Levi.”

“Sit the fuck down, you’re not gonna believe this shit.”

“What is it?” Jean was fixing his hair in front of the mirror, pressing the phone against his ear with his shoulder.

“You know that painting you handed over to me? Some rich-ass lunatic came here and freaked out about it. I might be able to make the sale.”

“Wow, that’s great. How much?”

“Five. Thousand. Dollars.”

Those numbers echoed through Jean’s mind and he let his phone fall on the ground as he stared at himself in the mirror, seeing only his blurred figure. He could hear Levi shouting from the other side of the line and getting quiet after a while.

“Jean, are you okay?” Marco got into the bathroom, staring at him.

“...I just got... Five thousand dollars.” Jean’s voice came out as an incredulous whisper.

“...What did you say?” Marco’s eyes were widened.

“I JUST GOT FIVE THOUSAND DOLLARS FOR MY PAINTING!!!” Jean jumped on his friend, who had to lean against the door frame so they wouldn’t fall.

“T-That’s great, Jean!!!”

“FIVE. THOUSAND. DOLLARS!!!” Jean grabbed Marco’s face, closely staring at it.

“Please don’t kiss me.” Marco was blushing hard.

“What? Oh. Sorry. I got carried away.” Jean let go, taking a deep breath and picking up his phone from the floor.

Levi had obviously hung up, not being patient enough to let Jean finish his little fit. Jean called him again and apologized for his behavior.

“Whatever, listen to me, you little shit: Get your ass over here right now. He wants to meet you.”

“I-I had to...” Jean remembered his date with Armin. “Can I bring someone?”

“You can bring your fucking dog if you get your ass in here in the next hour. Bye.” Levi didn’t even bother to let him reply.

Jean called Armin and invited him to the gallery. He was so excited his hands were shaking and he couldn’t stay put in one place, so he walked around the whole house while talking on the phone with his boyfriend.

 

\---------------------------------

 

As they got to Levi’s gallery, Jean looked for the short man, with Armin holding his onto his arm. Levi was in front of Jean’s painting, talking to a tall, blond man that seemed like an older version of his boyfriend.

Jean approached them, greeting Levi.

“Oh, there you are! Mr. Smith, this is Jean Kirstein. The artist that created this wonderful masterpiece.”

Levi said in a weirdly excited tone and Jean could swear he saw the hint of a smile on the man’s face. It was like he was possessed by some kind spirit that knew very well how to make a sale. A horrible sigh, in Jean’s opinion.

“It’s really nice to meet you, young man.” The blond man extended his hand. “I’m Erwin Smith.”

“It’s nice to meet you too, sir.” Jean quickly said. It was weird for him to be so polite. It has been a long time since someone actually had expectations of him.

Even though Jean loved his appearance he knew people still thought it was weird or creepy, so no one ever expected him to be polite or behave like a “normal person”. He got used to it, so being there, with Erwin, a man that expected him to be some kind of genius or whatever was intimidating.

“Who’s your friend?” Erwin kindly asked, trying to make small talk.

“Oh! I’m so sorry. This is Armin Arlert, my...” Jean hesitated for a second. He wasn’t sure if he could call Armin his _boyfriend_ just yet.

“I’m his boyfriend.” Armin smiled and extended his hand to Levi.

The short man stared at it for a while, confused. After a few seconds, he took a step to the side, putting Erwin in front of Armin to take the young man’s hand. Jean and Erwin had to hold back their laughs as Armin shook the blond’s hand.

“Well, I think we should get straight to the point. I think your art is superb and I hope you can continue to work on it.”

“Thank you very much, sir! I’ll keep painting.”

“Is this your only job? I’ve never heard of you before.”

“No. No, I work at a cupcake shop. Huh... I like to bake.” Jean added, wondering what Erwin would think about him.

“I see. Well, I can’t boss you around, but I think maybe you should work with art alone. I mean, don’t take this the wrong way, I believe it’s worth every penny, but charging such a price for a painting this size when you’re an unknown artist... That’s pretty bold of you.” Erwin said with a soft smile.

“I... Know.” Jean took a quick glance at Levi that simply raised his eyebrow for a second, like he was daring Jean to complain. “I... Huh... I just gave it a shot, you know. This painting means a lot to me.”

“It’s truly beautiful. I love the way you used the colors in it, specially the yellow. It has such a strong presence, and yet it looks so... Gentle.”

It was amazing how Erwin seemed to know exactly how Jean had felt as he painted it. He seemed to know Armin, and Jean realized he had stopped looking at Erwin to stare at his boyfriend. Armin was standing beside him, looking a little bored.

Levi suddenly took Jean’s attention away by poking him on the side, to give Erwin a proper reply.

“Oh! Yeah. I’m sorry. Well, yes, my... My inspiration was... Someone I know.”

“I see.” Erwin said with a smile, as if he knew very well who it was. “Well, you’re a great artist. I’ll keep coming here to check out your new works. Please continue to paint.”

“Will do, sir.”

“That’s great. Now, how about we settle this?” Levi said, as politely as he could.

“Sure. This one doesn’t waste any time, does he?” Erwin asked Jean, not waiting for a reply before leaving with Levi.

Jean chuckled, waiting for them to walk away before taking a deep breath. He was relieved for being able to make a good impression and specially happy about the money he was about to receive. Five thousand dollars. He never thought he would ever be able to sell a painting for that amount of money.

Armin was still standing by his side, gently tapping the tip of his feet on the floor, waiting for Jean to move, but Jean didn’t really know what to do. He was in the middle of an art gallery, surrounded by amazing artists and paintings, but it would be so boring for Armin.

“Jean.”

“Yeah?” The blond took his attention.

“Are we done?”

“Huh... Yeah.”

“Are you sure? Don’t you wanna look around or...?”

“No, no, it’s fine!”

“Come on, you like this, so let’s walk around.” Armin said, with a kind smile.

Jean’s heart skipped a beat and his stomach seemed to be filled with butterflies. Armin was so great. He made awful jokes, he was a little sassy once in a while, but deep down he was kind and caring. Whenever Jean was by his side, he always felt like he was free to say whatever he wanted, more than with anyone else.

They walked around the gallery for a while, until Jean spotted a gorgeous painting hung up on the wall. He stopped to appreciate it before remembering Armin, by his side, holding his hand.

“So, huh, this painting is really pretty. I mean, the artist used some great colors. I love colors. Like, there’s black all around and a lot of red, in the shape of a... Huh... Like a star? Maybe?” Jean tried to include his boyfriend in his experience, but trying to describe an abstract painting was _hard_.

“Huh... Cool.” Armin chuckled.

“What? It’s hard to describe, okay? Well, the point is: there’s a lot of red and it’s gorgeous.”

“I see. Quick question, though: What’s red?” Armin smiled at him.

“What do you mean ‘What’s red?’. Red is... Red. The color red. The color of your blood, the color of...Red origami paper?”

“That doesn’t really answer my question.” Armin chuckled.

“How come?”

“Jean, I told you. I have never seen anything. I don’t know what ‘red’, ‘blue’, ‘yellow’ or any other colors are. I have never _seen_ my blood. I’ve _felt_ it, I know it’s liquid, but I’ve never seen it. I don’t know what red is because I’ve never seen _any_ colors.”

“Oh...”

It was so impossible for Jean to understand what was like to live as a blind person. He understood what Armin had said, but it was impossible for him to imagine someone that didn’t know what color was because he had never _seen_ colors. Jean had learned the colors when he was one or two years old and Armin didn’t have that knowledge even though he was over twenty years old. He would _never_ have that knowledge.

“Jean, are you feeling sorry for me? Because if you are, I’m going home.”

“What? I-No! Well, a little. I mean, it’s just hard for me to understand. Please don’t go, I really enjoy your company. I’m just... Still learning.”

Armin seemed to be thinking for a while before putting his hand on Jean’s chest. He raised it to the brunet’s shoulder and nape, pulling him closer for a kiss. He let go after a few seconds, lowering his hand, searching for Jean’s.

“Okay. Fine. Now, can you please appreciate the art?” Armin asked, chuckling and they continued to wander through the gallery.

After a few more minutes, Jean decided it was enough and it was time to take his boyfriend home. As they were leaving, one poor, distracted man asked them if they had enjoyed the gallery. Armin wasn’t one to miss such an opportunity, so he insisted he had “loved it” and “was looking forward to _seeing_ more artwork like this in the future exhibitions”.

He even put a little emphasis on the “seeing” and the poor man just stood there, stuttering, trying to collect himself. Armin took almost a minute, with a serious expression before finally laughing and telling the man he was joking. Even though he was really polite, the poor man was still blushing violently and making weird sounds. It was one of the funnies things Jean had ever witnessed.

The laughed half the way to Armin’s place. Jean stood in front of the building, preparing himself for a proper good-night kiss this time. Armin smiled and pulled him closer by the shirt, looking up. Jean lowered himself and gave him a long and sweet kiss.

“Hey...” Armin whispered and Jean could see him blushing a little. “I’m gonna invite you to see a movie, but I don’t want you to thinking that something else is gonna happen, okay? I just... Want to be with you... For a while longer. Is it okay?”

Armin seemed like a completely different person now, but it just made Jean feel more and more in love with him. It was like all that sass was meant to hide how he truly felt, who he truly was. All Jean wanted was to spend enough time with him so he could get to know more about him.

“Sure. I’d love to. And I don’t need to, you know. I’m fine just being with you.”

“Good.” Armin smiled, giving Jean’s arm a kiss as he took it. “Come on, then.”

Jean guided Armin into the apartment and the blond took his keys, searching for the keyhole. He unlocked the door and got in, walking to the couch and taking off his coat. Jean turned on the lights and closed the door, locking it.

Armin washed his hands in the bathroom and returned to the living room, walking to the shelf with a ton of DVD cases.

“Do you want popcorn? I can make some. And about the movie, I... I actually had something in mind.” Armin chuckled. “Would you like to see ‘The Phantom of the Opera’? I just looooove the songs.”

“Huh, sure, no problem.”

Jean was sitting on the couch, but before he could get up to take the movie from the shelf, Armin was already running his fingers through it and taking the DVD. Jean was amazed to see how he took it in just a few seconds, not being able to see the drawings to identify the cases.

“H-How the fuck did you do that?”

“Do what? Oh! The DVD? I just put them in alphabetical order and count. So I know where everything is.”

“You are so amazing.”

“Huh, thanks, but I’m really not.” Armin laughed, putting the DVD on the table and walking to the kitchen.

The way he moved around the house was incredible, but he would still hit some of the furniture once in a while, specially the shorter ones. He seemed to be used to it, though.

Jean watched as Armin walked into the kitchen, preparing the popcorn and putting it into a bowl. When he was done, they got back to the living room and Armin prepared the DVD. Jean would have helped if he didn’t think it was so amazing to watch his boyfriend do all those things with such ease.

They sat on the couch together, cuddling under a blanket to watch the movie, but it was so hard. All Jean could see was his boyfriend, in his arms, sharing a bowl of popcorn with him. He looked so good and Jean was starting to realize this was not even close to his best features. He was sure that his feelings for Armin wasn’t something so shallow as a physical attraction.

He was actually in love with this man.

 


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which everything happens at home.

Jean woke up feeling an intense pain on his neck and back. He tried to move, but a heavy weight kept him in place as he opened his eyes, trying to reach for his phone, ringing on the table. It was Armin, keeping him frpm turning off his alarm clock. He finally reached his phone and turned it off, kissing Armin’s head.

“Ar, wake up. I gotta go to work.” He whispered, gently shaking the man on top of him.

Armin just grunted, rubbing his face against Jean’s chest and went back to sleep. Jean chuckled, wishing from the bottom of his heart that he could stay there forever.

He pushed Armin away, making him lay on the other side of the couch and kissed his cheek before getting up. Jean took the liberty of eating one bread and a glass of juice, washing everything after he was done. He also stole a little bit of toothpaste and used his finger to “brush his teeth”. It wasn’t the best, but there was no time to go back home.

Before leaving, he wrote a note and left it on the table. He didn’t realize how stupid that was until Armin called, at the end of his shift, to complain about him “leaving without saying goodbye”.

“What do you mean? I left you a note!” He said.

“...A note? You left me a _note_?”

“I did! It was a bright orange post-it, right on the table!”

“Jean, you do remember I _can't see_ , right?!” Armin almost shouted those last words.

“Oh... Fuck!!! Why do I keep forgetting that?”

“How the hell should I know? My eyes are always closed, there’s no greater reminder than _that_!”

“Ugh! Maybe- I think it’s the way you act. You’re so... Independent.” Jean confessed, waving at Sasha, who had just closed the shop and was heading home.

From the other side of the line he heard Armin sight.

“That’s because being blind doesn’t make me helpless.”

“I didn’t mean-...! I’m sorry.” Jean regretted his words immediately. “Hum... Can I meet you? Maybe... Watch a movie?”

“...Sure.” Armin seemed to hesitate for a second before that reply.

“Great...” Jean pretended not to notice his hesitation. “...Hey, you’re not gonna make me...”

“We’ll watch ‘The Phantom of the Opera’ again and you’re gonna like it.” Armin said, not even bothering to let Jean finish.

“... _Fine_.” He smiled, even though he’d have to watch the same movie two days in a row. “See ya later.”

Jean hung up and went back home to find Marco laying on the couch, playing _Mario Kart_ , as usual. He got closer and Marco rose his legs, waiting for his roommate to sit down before resting them on Jean’s lap. After Marco was done with his races, Jean joined in and they played together.

The game had been played by them ever since they moved in together. They had unlocked absolutely everything, but it was still one of the few games they had, and the only one that was actually played. Any real gamer would have considered it a waste, but they didn’t mind. It was their thing. They would chat and play _Mario Kart_.

When Marco glanced at the clock, realizing it was almost three in the morning, they finally decided it was time to go to bed.

 

\---------------------------------

 

Months later, Jean invited Armin to a romantic dinner. Marco had agreed to leave the apartment for the rest of the evening, giving them some time alone and, by the time Armin arrived, Jean had prepared everything. He cleaned the house, making sure everything looked perfectly. His clothes were picked with care and his hair had been dyed in a light blue tone where it once was green. It didn’t matter that Armin couldn’t see it, he needed to look his best, just like his home and the food he made. It was something indispensable in his life.

Armin rang the doorbell and Jean rushed to open the door.

“Hey!” He smiled and gave Armin a kiss.

“Hi. You sound excited.” Armin chuckled, slowly walking into the apartment. His cane had already been shoved into his pocket.

“Well, I am. I cleaned up the whooooole house, you can eat from the floor if you want to.” Jean took his hand, guiding him to the kitchen, making sure he wouldn’t hit anything on the way.

“Thanks, but I’ll stick to the table, please.”

“Pff! Boring. Sit down, loser.” Jean pulled the chair and helped Armin sit, running to get the pot and place it on the table. “I made crab rigatoni and a delicious strawberry and vanilla trifle for my vanilla-obsessed boyfriend.”

“Just give it to me, loser. I'm hungry.” Armin said with a little smirk.

“Jesus Christ, you have no class.” Jean chuckled, serving their plates.

“Not at all.” Armin chuckled, touching Jean’s face before pulling him closer for a kiss. “It smells amazing.”

Armin searched for his fork and touched the edge of the plate. It all worked out fine until he was almost done and he had to poke around half the plate before finding the last pieces of pasta. Jean had to admit it was a little funny to watch.

“Do you want more?”

“Argh, Jeaaaaaan. Don’t ask me _that_! I’ve gained _eight pounds_ every since we started dating! Did you know that?” Armin threw his head back, faking despair.

“Was that a ‘Yes’?” Jean laughed.

“Of course it was.” Armin pouted and took his plate handing it over to Jean, who served him again.

No wonder Armin had gained weight. That little body was like a black hole. Jean had prepared a whole pot, hoping it would last one or two days after dinner but Armin ate half of it. It would be fine if he had stopped there, but no. He even ate three of the four trifles Jean had prepared. Jean honestly wondered where he kept all that food.

After dinner, Jean was heading to the couch, pulling his boyfriend by the hand. Armin blond tripped over the console on the floor, being held by Jean.

“Whoa, watch out. Are you okay?” Jean asked, worried.

“Yeah. Ugh, what is that? It hurt my toe.”

“Sorry. It’s just a Wii. I didn’t think it would be troublesome for you.” Jean found a place for it on the TV rack and pulled Armin carefully to the couch. “Are you sure you’re okay? Does it still hurt?”

“Yes, I’m fine. What do you play?”

“Oh, we have a few games, but mostly Mario Kart.” Jean chuckled.

“Ohhhhh, ‘Mario Kaaart’!” Jean had never seen Armin so excited. “I wanted to play it sooo muuuch! Ugh! See, this is one of the rare moments in my life I actually _mind_ being blind.”

Armin let out a sigh, a little disappointed. They had been dating for months, but not _once_ Armin had complained about being blind. It was always something that he would live with and it had never seemed to bother him.

Jean was a little sad, but he didn’t exactly feel sorry. The feelings were sadness and anger for not being able to give his own sight so Armin could do one of the few things he actually couldn’t. At that moment, he had an idea. A way to “lend” his sight to Armin.

“Let’s play.” Jean suggested.

“Jean, how am I supposed to play a race game?” Armin chuckled.

“I’ll guide you. Hang on.”

Jean got up, turning on the console. He took one of the controllers and gave it to Armin.

“Here. This button over here...” He took Armin’s thumb and placed it on the _A_ button. “... Is for accelerating. The other half of the controller, with the analog stick is for direction. Now...”

Jean sat back on the couch, pulling Armin closer, making him sit on his lap.

“Wait, am I a hooker being paid with ‘Mario Kart’ to give you a lap dance?” Armin asked, laughing.

“... Well, you are _now_ .” Jean laughed too, specially because his actions were actually innocent. All he wanted was to be closer to his boyfriend. “So, we’ll start with an easy race, just for you to get the hang of it. Just push the button like your life depends on it and I’ll tell you to go right or left. If I _scream_ at you to go right or left, then you _really_ push the analog stick to the side I’m telling you.”

“This is going to be a mess.” Armin tried to act indifferent, but Jean could hear the excitement in his boyfriend’s voice.

“Well, ‘Mario Kart’is _supposed_ to be a mess. Here, let me...” Jean hugged him, kissing his cheek as he configured the game. “So, when you hear the third ‘beep’, push the button and don’t let go, okay?”

“What are the ‘beep’s?”

“It’s the sound that means the race is starting. So, let’s go.”

Jean never thought that watching someone play _Mario Kart_ and get the last place could be so much fun. He would get so excited he would grab Armin’s waist, pulling him closer and shout as Armin hit the walls or fell off the road.

They spent hours playing it and Jean was so glad to see a legitimate smile in his boyfriend’s face. Armin had never laughed so genuinely as he did when he laid his head on Jean’s shoulder after falling off the road for the fifth time.

“I hate this track! Why would someone build it like this?”

“Ohh, you poor innocent fool. Have you never heard of the ‘Rainbow Road’? If you played it you’d really know what ‘hate’ is.” Jean laughed, kissing his cheek again. “Woah, it’s almost two in the morning.”

“What!? Oh my God...” Armin got up, putting the controller down. “I have to go...”

“Why don’t you spend the night? I mean, it’s late... I don’t want you alone out there.” Jean watched Armin scratch his own neck, blushing a little. “I-I won’t do anything! I promise. I-... We’ll just sleep.”

“What? Oh, yeah. Okay. Sure.” Jean could swear he saw Armin blush even harder.

Armin turned off the console as Jean took one of his shirts and pants from the dresser. He used the time Armin took to change to do the dishes and get a new toothbrush for him. Jean knocked on the bathroom door to give it to him and he was so glad Armin couldn’t see the stupid face he was making.

Marco had said numerous time how sexy it was to see a girlfriend wearing his clothes, but Jean never really got it. His boyfriends would never wear his clothes and, after seeing Armin doing so, he regretted it instantly.

His clothes were much larger than him and Armin must have pulled the strings from his pants as much as he could for them not to fall off. After a few seconds, Armin took the toothbrush from Jean’s hands and used it.

They laid in Jean’s bed, so close they could feel each other’s breath. This was torture. Jean felt like the biggest idiot on Earth to even suggest sharing a bed with Armin. It was like a test on his self-control. He kept his hips so far away from Armin that his butt was uncovered and off the bed.

Armin took his hand, giving it a kiss before placing it close to his chest. Jean turned his body, laying on his back and staring at the ceiling. He was doing everything he could to take the fact that Armin was laying right beside him — _wearing his clothes_ — away from his mind.

Armin got closer, but Jean still wouldn’t look at him. He kept starring at the ceiling, feeling his heart pounding inside his chest, trying to keep himself calm. Of course, that became much harder when Armin approached even more, kissing his cheek.

_Jesus fuck, please stop this torture. Don’t be sweet, don’t be romantic, just stay away from me before I jump on you._

“Jean.”

“Y-Yeah?”

“Don't you want to...?”

“No!!! No, of course not!” Jean quickly replied, panicking.

Armin didn’t say anything else. He backed away and turned around, saying a low “Good night.”. Jean finally managed to calm down after that, trying to get some sleep. His mind was all that kept his body from grabbing his boyfriend and never let him go. It took him about one hour to completely calm himself down and drift into sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter seems a bit weird to me and I'm not sure if it's because nothing really happens or what. Well, I hope you like it anyway!  
> Thank you for reading!


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which the boys dress up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, I'm sorry it took me so long to post this. I was trying to get my life together (and escape from the evil claws of a certain game...) and when I was FINALLY done with it my computer DELETED the whole thing. I swear. I was so angry I didn't wanna touch this fic for a whole day. But now it's here, and I hope you enjoy it!!!

Jean opened his eyes to find Armin laying by his side, still sleeping. Even though his boyfriend had slept on his side the previous night, now he was laying on his back, his hands carefully placed on his chest. It was a little creepy, actually, but Jean didn’t mind. He seemed perfect, even in that corpse-like position.

Jean sat on the bed, admiring his boyfriend for a while. He could probably spend the eternity staring at those perfect features that completed the masterpiece he called “Armin Arlert”. Nothing was out of place. His nose was tiny, just like his lips. Jean had never seen his eyes, but he even liked the shape of his eyelids. And with that thought he let out a sigh.

If he had any doubts, until that point, that Armin was the love of his life, he was sure now. He was absolutely certain there was something wrong with that man — No one is perfect, after all — but he couldn’t figure out what it was. Everything about him just seemed _right_.

“You’re so perfect.” He said, in a low voice.

“Uhh... Thanks?” Armin replied instantly, not sounding sleepy at all.

“JESUSF-!!!” Jean jumped in fear, nearly falling out of the bed. “WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU??? YOU’RE AWAKE???”

“Well, yeah. For an hour or so. I think.” Armin sat up and his gorgeous hair simply fell on his shoulders. He didn’t even need a brush.

“Why didn’t you say something??? What were you doing???”

“Thinking.”

“ _Thinking_? And why didn’t you at least open your eyes or something?” Jean asked, but then his mind was directed to a different question. “...You _can_ open your eyes, can’t you?”

“Of course I can open my eyes! What kind of question is that?” Armin laughed.

“Well, I wouldn’t know, okay? Just... Shut up!” Jean smiled and pulled his boyfriend closer to him.

Armin chuckled as Jean hugged him, caressing his head. It was weird for him to just sit there, on a bed, with his boyfriend and not do anything _sexual_. His passion for aesthetics had always led him to sleep with people he considered attractive and nothing else. It was normal for him to have one-night stands based solely on how beautiful the person was.

But it was different with Armin. Of course, the previous night had been more than enough proof that Jean was sexually attracted to Armin. But, this time, it wasn’t _just_ that. He wanted to sit there, with his fingers entwined in that man’s perfect locks forever, not even _thinking_ about something other than that.

_So this is what real love feels like._

Jean was enjoying the way Armin’s heart was beating against his own chest when a few knocks came com the other side of the door, accompanied by a familiar voice.

“Jean, are you awake? You’re gonna be late for work.” Marco said.

“I’ll be right there.” Jean sighed and gave Armin a kiss on the cheek having to fight himself to let his boyfriend’s warm body back away from his.

 

\---------------------------------

 

Jean arrived at the cupcake shop to find Sasha’s husband, Connie, handling the cashier. Connie had been abroad for about a year, studying so he could turn the small shop into a franchise in the future.

“Hey, Connie! Long time, no see.” He said.

“Hey, Jean.” He glanced at his employee for a second before giving the client his money back. “There you go, sir. Please take your cupcake right there.”

Connie pointed to the balcony and turned back to Jean.

“How are you? Lookin’ good.” Jean patted him on the back.

“Jesus Christ. Two seconds into my store and you’re already hitting on me? Have you no shame?” Connie shook his head, pretending to be disappointed at him.

“Not at all.” Jean smiled and went behind the counter. “Hey, Sasha. What do you need from me?”

“Hi, Jean!” Sasha smiled so brightly Jean thought he’d go blind. “Can you work on the dough? Two batches, please.”

“Sure.”

Jean started to work with a smile on his face. Connie was back and so was his wife. Sasha had always been an energetic, happy woman, but ever since Connie had left she looked stressed. Of course, Jean couldn’t blame her. She was always the first to arrive at the shop and the last one to leave, just to go back to an empty house.

Jean had had dinner at the couple’s house before and he could see how much they loved each other and how close they were. It was hard to imagine a world in which they wouldn’t be together.

And on top of all that, Sasha loved cooking. Probably even more than Jean did. It was her dream to open that cupcake shop and now she could barely touch the kitchen utensils. Jean would be responsible for pretty much all the baking and she ended up in the cashier touching cold and ugly bills instead of beautiful decorated cupcakes.

Her stress and gloom were perfectly plausible, but Jean had to admit he’d missed the “regular Sasha”.

“Hey, Jean, now that Connie is back I can work on the baking so... I can’t really let you go on the weekends, but what about weekdays? I could give a break on Monday to Wednesday. How about it?” Sasha suggested.

“Oh, really? That’d be awesome! Thanks!” Jean was so glad to have a few days off he completely forgot about the rules and sent Armin a text, telling him the good news.

It wasn’t like Jean didn’t like his job. He did. He loved it, actually. But ever since he and Armin started going out, Jean had started to realize just _how much_ he worked. There was never time for them to hang out, except at night, when Jean was simply _exhausted_.

After a few minutes, he felt his phone vibrate on his pocket and checked it out.

**Armin  
cool! lets enjoy your free time 2gether!**

Jean stared at the screen for a while. Not only it was incredibly weird to see Armin writing “2gether”, but Jean wondered _how the hell_  he was even typing. Jean knew Armin’s phone could “talk”, which allowed him to use it with no major problems, but typing seemed too hard to do without his sight.

That question remained in Jean’s mind during his whole shift. His curiosity was killing him so much he didn’t even say “hi” or gave Armin a kiss before bursting out the question when they met that night.

“Um... Hi to you too, Jean. Yes, I’m fine, thanks for asking.” Armin smirked, taking out his phone. “And to answer your question: I just memorized the place were the keys were. Even though I can’t see, I have a pretty good idea of the size of the keyboard and everything. Here, let me show you.”

Armin explained as he touched the “home” button, without pressing it. He slid his thumb to the side, stopping under the “message” icon and slid it to the screen, so he would touch the small icon.

“ _MESSAGING. EDIT BOX. TAP TO- H. I. SPACE. J. R. R DELETED. R. R DELETED. E. A. M. M DELETED. N. DOT. SPACE. U. SPACE. S. U. C. L. L DELETED. K.”_

Jean paid attention to the talking phone and Armin’s actions until his own phone beeped inside his pocket. He took it out and there it was.

**Armin**   
**hi jean. u suck**

“This is so awesome. But isn’t there an app or something to make it easier?” Jean asked.

“Probably. But I don’t want it.” Armin shrugged.

“... Why not?”

“Because I don’t need any help, okay? There’s nothing I can’t do.”

“...How many fingers am I holding up?” That joke came out of Jean’s mouth before he could stop himself.

“...Enough to go fuck yourself with them.” Armin held back his smile.

Jean stared at his three fingers held up in front of Armin’s face.

_Well, he’s not wrong._

“Um... Rude.” Jean said.

“Not as much as you.”

Armin chuckled, putting his hands on Jean’s chest and raising it to reach his face in order to pull him down for a kiss. It was something he always did, but he had no idea how much of a turn on it was for Jean when he touched his neck in such a delicate way.

“We should go.” Jean said, before he could imagine something much more _intimate_ happening between them.

“Yeah.”

Armin took Jean’s arm and they left.

 

\---------------------------------

 

Jean was finishing putting on his costume when he heard giggles coming from the living room. He got out of the bathroom to find Marco standing there, holding his girlfriend’s hands down as he “sucked the blood” out of her. He was dressed as a vampire and the girl wore a Wonder Woman costume.

“No, Marco! Stop it!” She said, even though she had a big smile on her face and giggled.

“Quiet, woman! I’m here to kiiiiiiiiill yooou!” He said, pulling her closer.

“This is an insult to Wonder Woman.” Jean said and broke them apart with his body. “Get off her, Twilight.”

“Screw you, Casper!” Marco punched Jean on the shoulder, not using much strength.

“I’m not even a ghost!” Jean protested.

“You’re a _phantom_. It’s the same thing.”

“Shut up.” Jean smiled, going back to the bathroom.

He knew he looked good and wanted to make sure everything was in place. It was, obviously. No one spends over three hours in front of a mirror for nothing. It was tiring sometimes, to spent hours getting ready to leave the house every morning, but when Jean looked at himself he knew all that trouble was worth it.

The doorbell rang and took him out of his trance in which he continued to admire himself in the mirror. He ran to the door and opened it, just to find his perfect, angelical boyfriend dressed up as a _zombie_.

Someone had just committed sacrilege and turned that wonderful face into a mess, filled with scars and rotten skin so incredible that, for a second, Jean wondered if it was real. His golden hair had been painted black and he’d found a way to make it messy, probably with a lot of hairspray.

“Boo!” Armin said, raising his hands in a way that was supposed to be scary. But the only scary thing to Jean was what he’d done to his immaculate face.

“H-Hi...” Jean replied in a low voice.

“Woooooah, this is awesome! Man, now I’m felling bad for my costume.” Marco approached. “How did you do that?”

“Oh, the scars? My friend Mikasa is a make-up artist. She’s amazing from what I hear. But, you know, she could’ve drawn ponies on my face and I’d never know.” Armin shrugged.

“Well, she’s really amazing.”

“Thanks. I’ll tell her you said that. So, ready for our first Halloween together?” Even though Armin hadn’t moved his head, Jean knew he was talking to him.

“Uhh, yeah, sure.” Jean took his boyfriend’s hand and placed it on his arm.

 

\--------------------------------

 

The group arrived at the pub around nine. Mikasa, Armin’s roommate, waved at them, but she didn’t even have to. Jean would _never_ forget her. She looked amazing, just like the first time Jean had seen her. She wore some kind of “sexy-witch” costume, but it wasn’t as oversexualized as the regular costumes, so it was probably made by her or she hired someone to do it.

By her side sat a man around their age wearing a lab coat and a giant screw coming out of his head, decorated with fake blood. It was like a mad-scientist whose experiment went terribly wrong,. Either way, Jean didn’t pay much attention to the costume as he saw the guy wearing it. He had big, gray eyes and a gorgeous face.

Jean was so frustrated at that. Marco wasn’t ugly or anything, but these two were simply gorgeous and Armin couldn’t see them. Armin had _no idea_ how hot his friends were, and he never would. Every part of Jean hurt at that thought, but his artist side _died_. It sounded silly if he said it out loud, but he knew it wasn't. Appearance was everything to him.

Finally, they sat at the table and introduced themselves. The man sitting beside Mikasa was Eren, another one of Armin’s roommates. Jean did his best not to picture these two people sharing an apartment with _Armin_. It was like the whole concept of “perfection” gathered up in a single place. Marco and Mina — Jean ended up finding out her name — left after forty minutes to go to another bar with some friends.

The evening was going well. The four of them shared two huge portions of french fries and had a few drinks as they chatted.

“Ugh, these fries are so good!” Armin commented, putting two fries in his mouth. “Do we have any ketchup?”

Eren smirked after exchanging a devilish look with Mikasa, who had to hide her mouth in her hand so she wouldn’t laugh.

“Here.” Eren put the ketchup closer to his friend.

Armin took the fries, however, Jean saw Eren reach for the Tabasco sauce and put an incredible amount of it right on top of Armin’s fries. Eren was biting his lower lip in excitement as Armin ate them, taking less than a second to realize what his his friend had done.

“You little shit! Ugh, I can’t believe you did this again!” As Eren busted out laughing, Armin quickly swallowed the fries, putting his tongue out and trying to reach for the glass, which Jean kindly handed over to him.

“I’d say I’m sorry... But I’m really not.” Eren returned the glass and wiped the tears out of his eyes, calling the waiter. “Hi, can I have a glass of milk? I’m done torturing my friend.”

“Uhh... Sure...” The waiter had the same judgmental look towards Eren as Jean did.

_Who does that to a blind person?_

Jean made fun of him once, but it was a silly joke. Eren was just... _Mean_.

“I’m going to the bathroom. Jean, if he puts something in my food... Kill him.”

Armin made a serious expression as he said it, but it softened as he gave Jean a kiss. He took his cane out and slowly found his way to the bathroom.

Eren had a smile on his face until Armin passed through the door, but as soon as he did, the brunet gave Jean an angry look, slamming the table to call his attention.

“Okay, listen here, you pierced horseface. I hope you’re not hoping to take advantage of him. I don’t know what your deal is, but I won’t let you hurt him.”

“W-What?” Jean looked at him, confused. It was like, all of a sudden, the devil had possessed the guy. “Wh-Why would I do something like that?”

“How the fuck should I know?” Eren replied.

“What he’s _trying_ to say is...” Mikasa started. “We’ve had our share of people bullying and taking advantage of Armin, okay? We just wanna know _why_ are you with him.”

“I-I don’t know.” Jean tried to think about the reasons, excluding his artistic love. “I just like him. He’s funny, he’s kind, he’s honest... I like him. And even if I stopped liking him, I’d tell him the truth!”

“Hump! Fine.” Eren laid back on his chair, ordering another drink for Armin and himself. “But I’ll keep an eye on you.”

Armin approached a few moments later, sitting beside Jean. He asked about the safety of the french fries before eating a few more. After that, it seemed like whatever had possessed Eren had left for good, and he was just as nice as Jean thought he was in the first place.

After they were done with their food, the group decided to wrap up the night with a darts game. Jean thought Eren and Mikasa would play until he saw her sit on the bench close to them.

Eren put Armin behind the line that marked the point from where they were supposed to throw and adjusted his position so he would be facing the target.

“Is it in front of me?” Armin asked.

“Yeah.”

Eren confirmed and Armin took the same mechanical steps he’d taken at the beginning of his piano recital, his right hand in front of him. When his hand touched the wall he looked for the target and seemed to be measuring it’s size and height.

“Okay, I think I got it.” Armin said and Eren took him back behind the line.

“Guys, I think you should step away.”

Eren said to a few guys that stood close to the target. As they realized what was going on they took about ten steps back, looking terrified. Armin got ready and threw one of the darts.

“Did I hit it?” He asked.

“Not even close!” Eren laughed. “You’re gonna take somebody’s eye out like that.”

“Pff! Sight is overrated anyway.” Armin shrugged and smirked. “Too high or too low?”

“Too low.” Eren replied.

“Alright.”

Armin tried again and, this time, it hit the target and they kept playing. After a few minutes, there was a crowd watching them, as if it was a performance. They cheered every time Armin hit the target and he seemed to be having fun with it.

When they finally decided to call it a night, somehow Armin ended up inviting himself to Jean’s apartment and Eren gave Jean an evil look before heading home with Mikasa.

The night was really cold and Jean and Armin walked so close to each other it seemed their bodies were glued together. Jean had his cape around Armin, trying to warm him up.

“You were amazing out there. You really can do anything, can’t you?” Jean commented.

“Except for seeing? Pretty much.” Armin chuckled. “Oh, I forgot to ask! What’s your costume?”

“Wow, took you long enough!” Jean laughed. “I’ll give you a hint.”

Jean stopped, standing in front of Armin.

“I’m ‘that voice which calls to you and speaks your name’.” He whispered, in his most seductive voice, close to Armin’s ear.

“...You’re the Phantom.” Armin smiled, biting his lower lip and blushing lightly.

“Yup. And I’m here to take you away, Christine!” Jean joked as he gave Armin a quick peck on the lips, enveloping him with his cape.

“It’s okay... This time I _**want**_ you to take me.” Armin whispered, taking a step forward, closing up the gap between their bodies.

Jean could feel himself starting to sweat. He’d done it as a joke, but there was no way Armin was kidding when he said that. Jean gulped, unable to see his boyfriend’s expression in the darkness proportioned by his cape.

A few seconds passed before Armin touched Jean’s chest and completely closed the gap between their lips, turning it into a kiss. It was soft at first, but then Armin touched Jean’s neck and it was like a button had activated his instincts.

Jean grabbed the back of Armin’s messed hair, allowing his tongue to explore every inch of Armin’s mouth like his life depended on it. It was the most intimate, passionate and intense kiss he’d ever given and he didn’t stop until he heard a loud thump, followed by a grunt coming from his boyfriend’s mouth. He found his own body pressing Armin’s against a wall, his knee between his boyfriend’s legs, rubbing against his groin.

It took him a second to make his mind work enough for him to realize the loud thump had been Armin’s head against the wall.

“I-I-... I’m sorry. Did it hurt?” He asked, panting.

“J-Just a little...” Armin said, trying to catch his breath.

As Armin shifted his position a little, Jean remembered how close they were and immediately stepped away.

“I’m sorry! I-...!”

“I-It’s fine! I swear!” Armin assured him, a little curved to the front. His bottom was still touching the wall and Jean could swear he saw him blush and pull his ripped shirt down.

Jean didn’t really know what to say after that and, for what seemed like an eternity, they stood there, in silence.

“Home. We were heading home.”

“Y-Yeah!” Jean said, shyly taking Armin’s hand and placing it on his arm.

They walked back home as if nothing had happened. Except, this time, they stood apart from each other. That cold autumn evening seemed to have turned into a hot summer day.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The last scene was SO much sexier in the first version. Ugh! Fuck you, computer. But everything else was better, so... Yeah.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guuuuuuuys!!!  
> I'm SO sorry I took so long to update. I'm currently studying abroad so, even though it's been great, you can imagine how much of a mess my life has been. But anyway, here's the new chapter and I plan to keep updating! I'd love if you guys kept up with the story as well! Every comment/kudos/whatever just makes my day, honestly!  
> I hope you enjoy this chapter!

The room was cold and silent as they walked in. Jean wasn't sure about how to behave in that “almost banged my boyfriend in the middle of the street” situation. Usually, when that happened, it was inside his building, so he and his partner would basically make out until they reached the apartment. But he and Armin couldn't wait until they were inside the building. Everything about Armin seemed different from his previous relationships.

They walked in and Jean turned on the lights. As he turned around, Armin grabbed his coat, pulling him in for a sweet kiss. It was nice and slow, as if they were simply enjoying each other.

When Jean realized it, Armin had already taken him to the inside of his room. He took the opportunity to touch Armin's nape and deepen their kiss. His other hand slid to his boyfriend's shoulder, removing his shirt. Armin's skin was freezing from the weather outside.

When he was done, Armin helped him get rid of his cape and mask while the couple fell on the bed. Armin sat up, pulling Jean by his cravat, getting closer to the headboard. Jean followed him, lowering his kisses to Armin's neck and shoulders.

Armin leaned against the headboard, letting Jean kiss every inch of his neck. Jean unzipped Armin's pants and removed them, taking just a second to check out the sight in front of him.

Even though Armin's hair was a dark mess, his face was still “bruised” and greenish, just like his hands, the parts without the costume were simply perfect. Not as perfect as his face, but still _so_ aesthetically pleasing.

Jean wasted no time in removing the rest of his own costume and laying on top of Armin. He kissed his boyfriend's chest, slowly lowering his hands to the hem of Armin's underwear and starting to slowly slide them off.

At that moment, Armin grabbed his hair and Jean thought he knew what that meant. He looked up, about to say something, but he stopped as soon as he saw his boyfriend's expression. Armin looked terrified and Jean noticed his hands were shaking.

“Hey, are you okay?” Jean asked.

“I-I-...!” Armin tried to say something, but his open lips trembled.

“Armin, relax. I won't hurt you, I promise.” Jean gave Armin's stomach a gentle kiss.

“I-I know. It's not... It's not about that...” Armin grabbed the sheets and Jean saw a single tear escape his eyes before Armin quickly wiped it.

“Hey, okay, okay, it's fine! You wanna stop? We can stop! It's fine!” Jean sat up, still holding Armin's hand.

“I-I'm sorry! I'm so sorry!” Armin wiped a few more tears that kept escaping his eyes.

“It's fine, relax! Come on, please don't cry. Everything's fine.”

Armin nodded, holding Jean's hand. It was so frustrating for Jean to see his boyfriend like that and not be able to do anything. And it was even worse to think that he was the one that caused it.

“Would you pass me my clothes?” Armin asked, almost in a whisper.

“Yeah, but... Don't you wanna wear something more comfortable? Get in the shower, I'll lend you some clothes.”

“O-Okay.”

Armin got up and Jean guided him to the bathroom, helping him with all he needed. Jean went back to his bedroom and took a few clothes, placing them on the sink inside the bathroom, barely opening the door to do so.

He took a deep breath, listening to the sound of the shower and doing his best not to imagine the man under it. He felt even worse realizing he was _still_ thinking about sex at a time like this.

 _You are the worst person on Earth. He's like_ that _and you're still like_ this _._

He had to calm down, so he tried going into the kitchen. There was probably something he could cook to take his mind off Armin.

A few minutes later, Armin came out of the shower, his hair and face back to normal, wearing Jean's clothes.

“Hey. Feelin' okay?” Jean asked, not taking much time to look at him, focusing on the cooking.

“Yeah. I'm sorry.”

“I told you, it's fine. Of course I wanted to do it, but I'm glad you said something. I don't wanna do anything _you_ don't wanna do.”

“...Thank you.” Armin sighed. “Just so you know... I know this is cliche and all, but it's not about you. It's me.”

“I see. I thought I'd done something wrong.” Jean confessed.

“You'd never do something wrong.”

Jean felt his heart fill with a mixture of joy and guilt at that sentence. He was glad Armin actually thought that, but Jean had proved earlier that he _could_ do something wrong. Like imagine his boyfriend taking a shower even though he just said he didn't want to sleep with you. He hurried to finish his dish and served their plates.

“Hungry? I made some crunchy pan-fried chicken.”

“...So... Fancy chicken nuggets?” Armin smiled softly, probably still unsure about the mood in the room.

“Man, you _really_ have no class.” Jean chuckled, sitting in front of Armin, placing the sauce he'd made between them. “I made some Ranch Dipping Sauce too. I hope you like it.”

“Thanks.” Armin smiled gently and touched the plate in front of him, trying to take one of the chicken pieces. He ate one after dipping it into the sauce and groaned, leaning against the chair, throwing his head back. “Goddammit, Jean. Why? Why do you have to cook like this? I hate you. Oh my God. This is so good.”

“I hope you only hate me for my food.” Jean said, taking Armin's free hand, entwining their fingers.

Armin went back to his original position and reciprocated Jean's touch.

“...I love you.” Armin said, just like that, all of a sudden.

Jean opened his mouth, but no sound would come out of it. He wanted to say it back, but the shock was so great the words were stuck in his throat.

“Just because I didn't want to do this, it doesn't mean I don't. I just... I had a bad experience in the past and... And I can't easily trust people. I tried, I swear, I tried, but I can't just yet.”

“N-No! Armin, I told you: It's fine!”

“No, it's not!” Armin raised his voice. “It's not fair to treat you like this because of some asshole of an ex-boyfriend!”

“Armin, I'm telling you: It _is_ fine. You haven't, I don't know... Killed my dog, punched me in the face, told me I'm this or that. You just didn't wanna have sex. Calm down. I don't know what happened, and if you never wanna tell me, I'd love to know. But it's your business. I have nothing to do with you and your ex-boyfriend. All I want is for us to be together. With or without the sex.”

Jean talked with so much ease and honesty that, for a moment, it was like he was just a spectator of his own speech. “With or _without_ sex”? That was definitely a first.

“Would you... Sit here by my side?” Armin whispered.

“How about we go to the couch? I have something to show you.”

Jean got up, took the plates to the small table between the TV and the couch and came back to help Armin, who was carrying the glasses. Jean sat him on the couch and took the DVD out of it's case, placing it on the player. He sat beside Armin, pulling him closer and excitedly waited for his reaction.

Five seconds. Five seconds in and Armin jumped from his seat, his hand on his mouth, almost dropping the plate he'd been holding.

“O-OH!!! OH!!! YOU BOUGHT THE PHANTOM'S DVD!!!”

“Yes, I did.” Jean laughed at his excitement.

“Are we gonna watch it???”

“...No, I bought it to torture you and never let you watch it. Of course we are!!!”

“Awww, thank you! Thank you so much!!!” Armin kissed him on the cheek and lips — He was probably so excited he ended up missing Jean's mouth at first — and sat back down, leaning against Jean to watch it.

Jean was starting to get used to watching the same movie over and over again. Specially when he peeked at Armin from the corner of his eyes and saw his boyfriend's jaw moving, voiceless singing along. Jean knew there was also a smile there, which made it so much better.

As the movie progressed, Jean started to realize he had to love Armin way too much because he knew every single line of that movie by heart. He could probably narrate every scene and line even if he wasn't watching it.

“Jean.” Armin suddenly said, as Jean was lost in thought.

“Yeah?”

“...Would it be too much teasing if I asked you to... Kiss me?”

“What? Why would it be teasing?” Jean backed away for a second, trying to look at Armin's face.

“Because I want you to do it like they do.” Armin moved his head to indicate the TV.

Jean looked at it and saw that _All I Ask of You w_ as about to start. He knew very well that Christine and Raoul kissed during the song, but he didn't quite understand Armin's request.

“I'm confused.”

“I know they kiss, but I don't know _how_ they do it. I mean, the first time I saw it, Eren said to me 'They kissed.', but when I asked him how was the kiss, he said 'I dunno, man. A kiss. A good kiss.'. But I don't know what a 'good kiss' is to Eren.”

“Oh.”

Jean had never realized that every scene without a line was pretty much a mystery to Armin. He wouldn't even know they kissed if someone didn't tell him. Every time Armin told him such things, he kept imagining what it would be like to live like that.

“Sure, I'll... Try? We have to get up.” Jean replied, turning his body to face Armin as he stood up.

Feeling the sudden change on the surface, Armin did the same. They remained still waiting for the right moment, carefully listening to the song. Jean felt like it was him singing those lyrics. They reflected his love for Armin so perfectly it seemed almost surreal.

_Share each day with me, each night, each morning._

_Say you love me..._

_(You know I do.)_

_Love me. That's all I ask of you._

Like a mirror, Jean copied Raoul's moves from the screen and tried to give Armin a kiss as romantic and intense as he imagined it should be. It felt so amazing he didn't want to let go, but Armin had asked to be kissed like in the movie, so that's what Jean did. He even had to fight all his instincts and spun Armin around, as much as he could.

For a while there was silence. It was impossible, of course, because the Phantom should be singing, but Jean didn't hear a word or note until Armin finally spoke.

“Wow... Damn, Raoul. You're good.” He joked, blushing.

“Thank you very much.” Jean laughed, placing a quick peck on Armin's lips.

“I wasn't talking to you, sir.” Armin pushed him away, laughing. “Thank you.”

“It's fine. Anything you want, just ask.”

“...By the way, that spinning around was _so_ gay.”

“Don't even go there, let's pretend that never happened.” Jean laughed, hiding his face.

Their laughs were suddenly interrupted by a few knocks on the door. Jean sighed and opened the it, already expecting to see Levi on the other side. And he wasn't wrong.

Levi stood there, looking like he had been to one hell of a party. The bags under his eyes looked twice as bad, his hair was a mess and his shirt seemed to have been put on in a rush, judging by the fact that his buttons were all on the wrong hole.

“Jesus Christ, you look like shit. Where have you been?”

“In your mama's ass. Just give me that shitty painting of yours and I'll be on my way, thank you very much.” Levi fired back and Jean could smell the alcohol in his breath.

“Sheesh, fine. I'll go get it.”

Jean went to his bedroom, looking for the painting he had made in a rush, right after he saw Armin playing. He hesitated to give it away because it was really special, but he had promised himself not to get attached to his works if he wanted to be a famous artist that could live from his paintings alone.

It took him about five minutes looking at it, saying his goodbye's and hoping his sacrifice would be worth it. Hoping that some crazy, random dude like that Smith guy would come and buy his painting for a billion dollars or something.

 _Not so high, Jean. Aim_ high _, not_ impossible _._

He thought to himself before giving the painting a soft kiss on the top of the frame. He sighed, taking it to the living room, where Armin and Levi chatted.

“No, seriously. This guy is all about the looks, and then you come and can't you can't see. It's fucking funny.” Levi said, just as Jean walked into the room.

“LEVI!” Jean shouted, shoving the painting in his arms.

“What?” Levi rose an eyebrow, confused.

“It's fine.” Armin laughed. “So...You're all about the looks? Is this true?”

“Well... I-...!”

Jean wasn't sure about what to say. It's wasn't a lie, but Armin had made him think differently. Armin had been teaching him that looks weren't as important as actions and actual feelings.

“... I was, but... I'm starting to change. Thanks to you.”

The room was completely silent for about ten seconds before Levi finally opened his mouth.

“Okay, I'm leaving. This is getting gross.” He said, as he looked at the painting in his hands. “Oh, yeah, by the way my share is going to be 35% from now on, okay?”

“What!?”

“Just shut up and trust me.”

“Ugh, fine.”

“Great. Bye, Mr. Magoo.” He left and Jean's face was probably comparable to a tomato by now.

“Oh my God!” Armin said as he started to laugh desperately. “That's so mean!!!”

Even though he said that, he was still laughing, like someone had told him the best joke on Earth.

“Oh my God, I love this guy.” He finally said, wiping the tears from his eyes.

“How is that possible?” Jean asked, sitting by his side.

“Well, he kinda reminds me of Eren. They're both so... Rude.” Armin chuckeld. “But, you know, they don't really mean it. They just say the first thing that comes to mind. And they're not afraid of mocking me and treating me like any of their friends, you know? I like that.”

That made Jean's heart sink like a stone.

“Yeah... I'm still... Working on that.”

“Oh, you're fine. Because you at least try, you know? You do your best, and except for a few times you don't really treat me differently.” Armin said, extending his hand to reach Jean's.

Jean let him take his hand and lowered himself to kiss him.

“Also, you get to do this, so everything is forgiven.” Armin laughed, holding Jean's face to kiss him back.

 

\---------------------------------

 

A few days later, Jean had spent the night at Armin's place for the weekend. He was starting to get used to sleeping the same bed as his boyfriend and do absolutely nothing. After the Halloween incident, he hadn't really tried anything and he didn't really need it. 

They woke up and Jean was preparing breakfast as someone banged on the door as if the world was ending outside.

“I got it.” He said as he turned off the stove and left the kitchen.

Eren was taking long steps to reach the door, pissed off for being woken up. He opened it wide, staring at no one else but Levi on the other side.

“WHAT!?” Eren almost shouted as he asked it.

That was the first time in his life Jean saw Levi flirting. Or what he hoped it would be flirting because Levi looked at Eren from head to toes with such hungry eyes you'd have to be an idiot not to notice.

Which Eren happened to be.

“Are you gonna say something o can I close the door?” He rudely asked.

“Oh. Jean. Where's Jean?” Levi seemed to have been brought back to reality, but his eyes would still glance at Eren's lower body from time to time.

Eren turned his body, rolling his eyes — And apparently not noticing Levi staring at his butt like he was about to bite it — and pointed at Jean, not even bothering to give him one of his angry looks before returning to the bedroom.

Levi turned his body to Jean, but his head and eyes were still glued to Eren as he involuntarily and almost imperceptibly bit his lower lip.

“Do you need me or Eren's ass?” Jean mocked in a whisper.

“Shut the fuck up, you little shit.” Levi replied in that same tone.

He waited until Eren closed his door before turning to Jean in a second. His expression changed into one of hate as he stared at Jean, who feared for his life.

“Where. The fuck. Is. Your. PHONE???”

“What? My phone? In Armin's room, I guess. Why?”

“WHY DIDN'T YOU PICK UP SINCE LAST NIGHT??? I NEEDED YOU TO MAKE THE FUCKING SALE!!!”

“Sale...? Oh! My painting? Calm down, why are you so pissed off?”

“Because if you don't come with me right now to meet Smith, we'll lose the sale.” Levi took a deep breath. “The _ten thousand dollar_ sale.”

Jean felt his mind go blank and the world around him spin at those words. Everything suddenly turned black and he woke up on the floor, his head being held by Levi.

“He's fine, blindy. Just sit the fuck down.” Levi said, looking into the kitchen. “Wake up, loser. We gotta go!”

Jean slowly got up, still numb from his faint and held onto Levi's arm.

“Did you just say... That Smith guy... Wants to pay me...”

“Yes I did and if you faint again I'll punch you in the face.”

“W-Why?” Jean asked, having a hard time believing in what was happening.

“...Because it's annoying.” Levi replied.

“No! Why does he want to pay me that much? How did you...?”

“I told him it was the price. I risked it and he took the bait.” Levi shrugged.

“...That's it? That's all it took?”

“Jean, Erwin Smith is one of those guys that basically craps out money. He uses one hundred dollar bills to wipe his ass. He has nowhere else to spend it and he took you under his wing for some reason. This is your once-in-a-lifetime chance. Now, go over there, lick his fucking balls if you have to and get. Me. My. Money.”

Levi said and didn't wait for Jean's reply before pushing him out of the door. Jean didn't have time to change or say goodbye to Armin as he was shoved into Levi's car. They arrived at Jean's building and Levi stopped the car, not turning it off.

“Today you don't get to be a fucking princess and take four hours to get ready. You've got ten minutes to go up, brush your teeth and look presentable. Go.” Levi said and leaned against his seat, closing his eyes.

“W-Wha-But-How?” Jean didn't even know where to start.

“Nine minutes, fifty-five seconds.” Levi replied, not even bothering to open his eyes.

Jean dashed out of the car, running to his apartment and banged on the door. Marco opened it, confused, but Jean wasted no time with an explanation. That could be done later.

He rushed as much as he could, but ended up getting ready in twenty seven minutes. He almost fell down the stairs as he was leaving and was completely out of breath as he got into Levi's car.

Jean was afraid Levi would get angry at him for being late, but the man said nothing. He just drove into the traffic and took Jean to his gallery. They entered through the back door and Levi lead him into a room.

It didn't look like it, but it was Levi's office. There wasn't a single spot of dirt inside that beautiful white room. To add some color, there were some paintings and a few plants, but not even a single grain of the dirt seemed to be out of place.

The client, Mr. Smith was sitting on a couch, drinking tea from a cup. He glanced at the two men and calmly put the cup down, walking over to them.

“I'm sorry we're late. Mr. Kirstein here had a crazy night. You know, artists.” Levi said with a hint of a smile, shrugging. Jean was a little pissed to be blamed for it, but he _was_ the one who didn't pick up the phone, after all.

“Yes, yes, I understand. Don't worry. It's not a problem. So... Mr. Kirstein.” Erwin looked at Jean and walked to the corner of the room, taking his painting, which had been carefully put there. Erwin appreciated it for a few moments before continuing. “You know, I thought you were inspired the first time, but this time you were simply over the top. You used your fingers for this, didn't you?”

“Y-Yes, sir.” Jean replied, feeling his heart beat faster. One wrong answer and this man could take his money and give it to some other artist.

“It was a good choice. Makes it look more intense and... Rushed. I like it. I really like it. You're a talented young man.”

“Th-Thank you, sir.”

“You just need to calm yourself down a little.” Erwin said with a smirk, his eyes turning to Jean. “I've already decided I'll buy this painting. There's probably nothing you can say that's going to make me change my mind. Relax.”

“Y-Yes, sir. Thank you very much! I-I can't believe you love my painting so much. I-I really put all my heart into it.” Jean ended up letting it out of his chest.

“I can see that. Where's your inspiration?” 

_Man, this dude knows everything, doesn't he?_

“At his home, sir. He's... Having breakfast, probably.”

_Having breakfast, waiting for me to make his breakfast while sitting on a chair. All the same, right? Fuck. The stove. Did I turn it off? Yes, before Levi came. I wonder if Armin's hungry..._

Jean's thoughts were cut by Levi's elbow nudging the side of his body. He looked at Erwin and saw that the man was staring at him, probably waiting for a response to some question.

“I-I'm sorry, sir... Could you repeat?”

“I asked if you were willing to paint an exclusive piece for a party I'm going to have at my place. I'd like to expose you and your work to my dear friends who happen to be really influential people. Maybe you can get some really good and wealthy customers there.”

Jean was simply shocked. His first instinct was to glance at Levi, who stared at him, waiting for a response, just like Erwin. Levi had given him everything. He had helped him to expose his art _and_ to sell it at those ridiculous prices. If he said yes it would feel like he was betraying the man who made him who he was.

Even so, Levi's expression was calm, as if he was expecting Jean to agree. His desire became clear when he rose his eyebrows and almost imperceptibly shook his head towards Erwin, silently asking Jean to accept the offer.

“I-I'd love to... Sir.” Jean said, hesitantly, hoping he had made the right choice.

Levi turned his head to face Erwin and there seemed to be a hint of a smile escaping from the corner of his mouth. Jean felt reassured to see it and continued. This time, he was confident.

“It'd be an honor.” He extended his hand and Erwin seemed a little surprise with his sudden change.

“That's great. I'll be looking forward for your next work. The party will be in two months, so you can have plenty of time to prepare something that will amaze me and my guests.”

And with that, Jean's heart ached with regret and fear as he left the room. The weight of that giant responsibility fell on his shoulders and he could feel his body getting heavier. His whole career would depend on that one painting.

Suddenly, Levi opened the door Jean had just closed and put his head out.

“Hey. Go home, rest, fuck your boyfriend, I dunno. Just calm down and focus on this painting.” He said in a whisper.

Jean nodded and thanked him in the same tone. He took the bus and almost missed the stop about two blocks away from Armin's place. His mind was completely blank as he automatically went up the stairs and knocked on the door.

Armin opened it after a minute or two — Jean knew he had taken that long because he didn't have his cane, as usual — and Jean instantly kissed him. There was no reason for it, he just felt like he needed to. The pressure on his shoulders left as he held Armin's face in his hands.

“Can you please explain to me what's going on?” Armin chuckled as they broke apart.

“I...I don't even know.” He laughed, sitting on the couch, still holding Armin's hand. “That Smith guy... I don't know why but he wants to pay ten thousand dollars for my painting.”

“W-What? Ten-Ten thousand?!” Armin sat beside him. “Is this... Normal?”

“No!!! No, it's not!!! I don't get it!!!” Jean admited.

“Well, maybe you're more talented than you think.” Armin kissed his cheek and placed his chin on Jean's shoulder. “I like your paintings.”

“Thanks, but I really don't-...” Jean started before he _realized it_. “GODDAMMIT! STOP DOING THAT!”

He laughed, pushing Armin away.

“It took you so long! Oh my God!” Armin laughed so much he had to put his hand on his stomach. “You're so slow.”

“SHUT UP!!!” Jean punched him, trying to hold back his laugh. “You're an asshole.”

“Just a little bit.” Armin said as he sat back up. He touched Jean's arm and slid his hand to hold Jean's hand. “But I do think you might be more talented than you give yourself credit.”

Jean leaned back, pulling Armin closer, so he would be in his arms. Jean played with his boyfriend's hair and, for a moment, he imagined himself living in a beautiful house, bought with his own money, waking up with Armin by his side. It seemed almost too good to be true. But it could come true. It would all depend on that one painting. That's all he needed. A name can, sometimes, sell more than talent. He needed to make himself known. Erwin would give him the chance, but it was up to him to make it happen.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah... Sorry they didn't get down to business. Hahaha! I'm also sorry for teasing you like that. BTW, I hope you don't mind the minor Ereri on the side. I never wrote anything about this pairing, so I decided to take the chance. Hopefully you'll like it. *Crosses fingers*
> 
> PS: For all the artists reading this story: I hope the things I write here aren't absolutely impossible or absurd. I did a lot of research, but the art world seems really complicated, so I'm doing my best. I hope you don't mind if something is weird and, please, fell free to tell me if it does! Thank you very much!


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Armin tells his story.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been almost TWO MONTHS since I last updated? Is this for real? What's happening to me??? Anyway, I'm SO sorry it took me so long. I barely have time turn on the computer nowadays. D:  
> BTW, thank you for all your messages and comments!!! I'm always grateful for them! And I'm REALLY sorry about the amout of typos in Chapter 7!!!! Dear lord, I read it again and wanted to delete it! Hahaha! This one might have a few too, but I hope you guys can kindly ignore them (Or you can let me now, if you want to!) and continue to follow the story!  
> Here's the new chapter!

Jean had a lot of experience with the feeling known as “artist's block”. He had been going through this phase for a long time before he met Armin, who ended up becoming his muse and leading him into painting again.

Even so, this time it seemed like there was no escape from it. He would look at Armin, talk to him, kiss him, but nothing would give him the inspiration he needed. He tried to look for it in other places and people, but nothing was good enough. He had to create a masterpiece or ruin his career. There was no third choice. Not with Erwin's influence.

With that _soothing_ thought in mind, Jean would spend half his day in a dazed state, staring at the air, usually in the middle of a task. Sasha even yelled at him twice in a day for that, and that was saying a lot. Making Sasha angry was definitely not easy, but Jean's mindless body, holding the icing dispenser in the air — and _not actually doing any frosting_ — could get the job done.

After his poorly executed shift, he headed to Armin's place as usual, but once again the pressure took control of his mind, making him stare at the frying pan, in which some poor eggs were loudly burning.

“Jean. Jean! JEAN!” Armin shouted.

“Huh? What?” Jean shook his head, trying to get his mind back in place.

“What's happening? What's that smell? Did you burn it?”

“Huh... I-...” Jean focused on his task and saw that the eggs were, indeed, burned black. “Shit!”

He turned off the stove, throwing the pan into the sink, trying to calm himself down. He was so done with all of that. So done with that horrible pressure following him around all day, _everyday_.

“Are you okay?” Armin asked.

“Yeah, I'm fine.” Jean harshly replied.

“...Yeah, I can see that.”

Jean sighed, rubbing his face with his hands.

“Sorry. I didn't mean to be a jerk. I-... It's just, there's so much pressure and it's already been three weeks! What am I gonna do if I can't think of anything?”

“Jean, just calm down. Try to take your mind of this for a while. Go do something else, I dunno. But you can't stay like this for two months!”

Jean knew he was right, but he couldn't simply let go of those thoughts. He tried to follow Armin's advice. _“Do something else.”_ What _did_ he want to do? He couldn't cook, because that was clearly not working, and he had no other hobbies.

“Can you teach me Braille?” Jean asked as soon as the thought came to his mind.

“What? Why?” Armin slightly turned his head in Jean's direction.

“Well, I've always wanted to learn so I could understand how you read your books and... I kinda need something to do, right?”

“Hm... I see. Okay, then.”

Armin smiled and reached out his hand. Jean was starting to get used to the way Armin barely moved his head while doing things. Even though he would usually turn it in the listener's direction, as they were getting closer and more intimate, Armin stopped doing it when they were alone.

He would talk, but his face would be directed at a cabinet or a window, not Jean. It made sense, since the whole point of looking at someone as they talk is to look into their eyes, or show them you're listening by looking at them. But Armin couldn't see anything, so he simply didn't do it.

Jean took his boyfriend's waiting hand and gave it a kiss before sitting down by his side.

“Okay, so...” Armin searched the table with his hands to look for a pen and paper.

“What, are you gonna write?” Jean mocked.

“Well... Yeah. How else are you gonna remember it?” Armin asked to the wall in front of them, confused.

“...Wait, hold the fuck up. You can _write_?”

“Yes, I can write!” Armin laughed. “My letter is awful, though.”

Armin took the pen and used the tip of his left finger to guide it with his right hand. Slowly and shaking he wrote a very ugly “A”. He continued to write all the letters until he had done the whole alphabet.

“Okay, so, there's some space below the letters. Or I hope there is. I'm awful with that. Anyway, in those spaces, you're gonna draw six circles, in two vertical rows of three.”

“Wait, so you can write but you can't draw circles?”

“You seriously expect me to draw a hundred and fifty six circles at this speed?”

“...Okay, first of all, that is some really good math. Also, yeah, you should let me do that.”

Jean took the pen and drew the circles as Armin asked. For a moment he wondered why Armin hadn't asked him to write the letters too, but he knew Armin was the type of person that liked independence. Jean was sure he didn't ask because he liked to prove himself. He liked to be able to do things on his own.

“Okay, now you're going to paint the inside of those circles.” Armin requested, pushing Jean's thoughts away.

“I'm sorry, is this a Braille lesson or a preschool art class?” Jean asked.

“ _As I was saying_...” Armin continued, raising his voice to ignore Jean. “Below 'A' you're gonna paint the top-left circle. For 'B', you're gonna paint the same circle and the one below it.”

Jean painted the circles as Armin told him until they had gone through all the letters.

“So, now what?” He asked, looking at the sheet of paper in front of him.

“Now you memorize it. Each pack of six circles is a letter, depending on the painted circles, that represent the embossed parts of the paper.”

“So... That's it?”

“That's it.” Armin chuckled.

“Wow, that's... Lame. I thought you were going to teach me something much harder.”

“Yeah, we actually have a secret club for blind people where we do magic and use another system to write messages we don't want sighted people to see.” Armin sarcastically replied.

“Shut the fuck up.” Jean laughed, pushing him to the side.

“Wow, finally.” Armin smiled.

“Finally what?”

“I finally made you laugh. I think I haven't head this sound since the day Erwin asked you to paint for him.”

“...Sorry.” Jean felt s guilty hearing those words. He didn't even think about how much Armin was being affected by his concerns.

“No, no, please don't do that. Don't get sad again!” Armin grabbed the front of Jean's shirt.

“I-I won't! I mean, I'll get over this. Really.” Jean took his boyfriend's hand and kissed it's palm. “I'm sorry for making you worry.”

“Well, don't! I'm fine, but you're clearly not. Just take it easy. It'll be okay.”

“Thanks.”

  


\---------------------------------

  


As night came, Jean sat on the bed, trying to read one or Armin's books. Which turned out to be extremely frustrating, specially as he watched his boyfriend's skilled hands wander through the pages of another book with trained speed. As Jean read two words, Armin had read two _pages_.

“How can you do that so fast???” Jean stared at him..

“...Do what?” Armin's fingers stopped as he asked.

“Read. How can you do that?”

“Jean, get a book. A regular one.”

Jean got up and went to the living room. Neither Eren or Mikasa were avid readers, but they still had a few books here and there. Jean took one of them and went back to Armin's bedroom, sitting by his side once again.

“Read it for me.” Armin requested.

“Why?”

“Just read it.”

“Ugh, fine.” Jean opened the book and started to read it. “'It was a warm summer evening as Jane looked into the sky, admiring the stars. Stargazing was one of the few activities one could enjoy at the small town of Hansville.'”

“So, tell me something.” Armin interrupted. “How can _you_ read so fast?”

“Well, because it's obvious! It's right there.”

Armin let out a grin.

“Well, it's right _here_.” He raised his book, turning the pages in Jean's direction.

“It's not the same!”

“How come?”

“Well, because... Because you can't _see_ those words. The letters they're just... Dots!”

“And your letters are just lines on a paper.”

Jean opened his mouth, but no argument would come to his mind. Armin seemed to have a gift for this sort of thing. Leaving Jean speechless, with no argument left, wondering how could he be so wrong about something he was so sure.

“Screw you.” Jean pushed Armin to the side. “Oh, by the way, is it okay for me to bring a few friends for your super-late-birthday dinner?”

“Jean, you're the one cooking and organizing this. You can do whatever you want.” Armin chuckled.

“Yeah, but it's _your_ birthday.”

“It's fine. If they're your friends, I'd love to meet them.” Armin smiled and placed a kiss on Jean's cheek. “I'll get some sleep. Goodnight.”

“Goodnight.”

Jean said as he watched Armin lay down and cover himself up. He gathered all his courage and let out a small sight before kissing Armin's head and whispering against his hair.

“I love you.”

  


\---------------------------------

 

Due to many busy schedules and unpredicted rich man giving out once-in-a-lifetime opportunities, Armin's birthday dinner ended up being celebrated almost about three weeks later. Jean was preparing a huge and delicious meal — Including a vanilla cake, which Jean had found out, a long time ago, that it was Armin's second obsession. — and giving Marco and Mina directions so they could help him.

This time, Jean was completely focused. It was amusing to see how much effort he could easily put into something when it was for Armin, but he couldn't do the same for himself.

The guests were arriving one by one. Being the punctual man that he was, Levi was the first one to arrive, at exactly seven thirty. He sat on the couch, absolutely calm until Armin finally arrived. Of course, Armin wasn't the reason for Levi's sudden change of mood.

Eren walked in, nodding to acknowledge Levi's presence, without taking his hands out of his pockets. Levi's stare at Eren was even more intense than the previous time — Maybe he was trying to make his desire more apparent so Eren would finally notice it — and Jean actually wondered if _Armin_ would be able to see it. Because even a blind person could see _that_.

Mikasa walked in after that and gave Levi an angry look before heading to the kitchen.

“Why is your friend so interested in Eren?”

“First of all: Hi. Second: How the fuck should I know? Maybe he wants to bang him, but I don't know why anyone would want to do that.”

“Because he's hot.” She replied as if it was the most obvious thing on Earth.

“Yeah, but that personality just ruins it.”

Mikasa was about to reply as Eren walked in with Armin clinging onto his arm.

“There you go.” He said in a regular voice as he used his index and middle finger to point at his own eyes and then Jean's in a “I'm watching you” gesture.

Jean rolled his eyes and lowered himself a bit to give Armin a kiss.

“Hey. Happy birthday.”

“Hi. It smells good. What are you making?”

“Braised pork with cabbage and apples.” Jean replied.

“Sound good. And smells even better.”

“Hey, Armin! Happy birthday!” Marco said as he finally took his eyes off the vegetables he was cutting.

“Hi, Marco. What are you cutting?”

“Vegetables. Do you want some?”

“Yeah.” Armin extended his hand and waited for Marco to put some on his hand.

He was starting to get more and more relaxed around Marco as well. As if to prove himself, he would often bump on tables and chairs to get to him in a situation like this. But now he would simply wait for someone to do it for him. It was probably too much of a hassle to walk around the table, feeling it's corners. He might have been used to being around Jean and Marco, but he still had a hard time inside their apartment.

Sasha and Connie arrived a few minutes later and she headed straight to the kitchen. It was almost impossible to cook with Sasha around because she wanted “just a taste” of absolutely everything. She even opened the stove and took a small piece of the pork.

Connie, on the other hand, simply sat on the couch and stared at Levi in confusion as the other man continued to eat Eren with his eyes.

After a few minutes, they all sat down to eat. Dinner progressed fine and the drinking progressed even better. Jean had been talking to Sasha before she headed to the bathroom, giving him a chance to look around see something he never thought he'd see: a drunk blind man. Armin was usually quiet, but he was being so _loud_. Even his laugh changed, as if he had been controlling it every time he laughed in front of others.

Mikasa's voice was still low, but she was actually smiling and talking for a long time. If Jean gathered all the times he heard her talking, it probably wouldn't be enough to match.

Marco was doing some stupid magic trick as he finished his dish, being closely watched by Mina and Connie. They both were so amazed by his stupid trick that Connie clapped and laid against his chair, crossing his arms and whispering “How?”.

Jean turned to watch Armin as the blond got up from his chair, a little tipsy.

“I'm okay. I'm okay.” He said, taking small steps, trying to walk in a straight line — which he couldn't do even when he was sober — heading to where Jean was sitting.

“Hey, hey... I want my cake.”

“Hm? Oh, okay. I'll gather everyone.”

“Who's missing?”

“Um... Levi? And Eren. Sit down, I'll go look for them.”

Jean said, but he soon realized that it was a bad idea. He had been drinking for a while, but the effects just appeared as he got up from his chair and felt the whole room spinning. He sat back down and waited one or two minutes before getting up again to look for the missing guests.

He walked around the house for a while until he decided to check at Levi's place. He was obviously getting a bad feeling about what he'd find by going there, but his instincts were confirmed as soon as he opened his apartment door and saw Levi pressing Eren against a wall.

That was one of the most amusing scenes Jean had ever seen for many reasons. First, because Eren was much taller than Levi, and seeing him being the one pressed against the wall was simply hilarious. Second, because it wasn't as funny as seeing a really drunk Eren, grabbing Levi's shirt, whimpering and whispering “But I'm not gay.” as they exchanges kisses.

“Kid.” Levi started, giving Eren's left butt cheek a hard grab. “Shut the fuck up.”

“No. Let me go. I'm not gay.” Eren said as he pulled Levi closer, sloppily kissing his lips and jaw.

“'Let you go'?” Levi let out a 'humph', accompanied by a smirk. “I'm barely touching you.”

That was definitely not a lie, but Eren pouted like a five year old at the comment. Of course, that adorable pout was quickly covered by Levi's lips in another kiss.

Jean finally remembered his legs could work, so he went back to the apartment, sitting by Armin's side on the couch. He didn't even know how Armin got there, but he was really glad he did, because Jean was starting getting tipsier by the minute and the simple act of walking was getting harder and harder.

“Hey, can you wait a sec?”

“For what?” Armin asked.

“The cake.”

“What cake?”

“Your birthday cake, man.”

“Oh yeah! Where is it? Gimme!”

“No, no, I'm asking you to wait.”

“No! I want it!”

“But Eren...Eren can't come.”

“Why?”

“...Probably because he's _about_ to come.”

“...What?”

“Nothing. Anyway, he can't come right now... As in 'come here'.”

“....” Armin furrowed his eyebrows. “...What?”

“Man, you gotta keep up. He's there with Levi and he can't eat the cake.”

“...What's Eren doing with Levi?”

“At this point, probably fucking.”

“No, no. With _Levi_. What's he doing with _Levi_.”

“...I know.”

“...Know what?”

“I know it's with Levi. Eren's with Levi. They're making out.”

“No he's not. Eren's not gay.”

“Well, he is _now_.”

“He _is_?”

“Yeah, I told you, I saw it.”

“Saw what?”

“Eren with Levi! Ugh, forget it. We'll give them five more minutes.”

“...Who?”

At this point Jean simply rolled his eyes, tired of that conversation. Their five minutes turned into fifteen and Levi and Eren finally got back with red, slightly swallowed lips.

After a really confusing birthday song, the whole group devoured the cake, even though they had just eaten way more than usual during dinner. Marco and Mina ended up passing out on the couch and Sasha and Connie left, making so much noise it echoed through the building's silent hallways.

Mikasa and Eren were at the door, already leaving when Levi held Eren's hand, pulling it gently. Mikasa was too focused on going down the stairs without falling to notice Levi's subtle gesture.

Eren had an expression that resembled a puppy. He seemed so conflicted as he pulled his hand away, slowly and hesitantly enough to allow Levi to hold it tighter, pulling it closer once again with such a delicacy that Jean never thought possible, coming from such a rough man.

There seemed to be a wordless conversation going on, which ended up with Eren turning his head to Mikasa and letting her know he would stay. She asked if he was sure and it took him about ten seconds to nod in consent. She left and Eren followed Levi to his apartment.

Jean got back to his own apartment, where Armin was slowly and shakily heading to his room. Jean followed him, just in time to see Armin falling on the bed, face first and crawling to the headboard.

“Hey, listen, today... Today we're gonna do it.” Armin started.

“What!?” Even drunk, Jean knew very well that this wasn't a good idea.

“Come on, come here. We're gonna do it, and we're gonna like it, and you'll be here in the morning.”

“Well, that's obvious. But we're not doing anything.” Jean said as he sat down on the bed, trying to regain his balance.

“No, we are.” Armin grabbed his shirt from the back and pulled him closer for a hug. “We're doing this.”

“Armin, you're drunk.”

“You're drunk too!”

“You're way drunker than I am. And you're the one with the 'sex problem'. You have to do this right.”

“...But I can't do it if I'm sober. My mind will block it, and I'll panic.” Armin whispered, tightening the hug.

“Well, it can't be done like this. So you're gonna have to be strong.”

Armin sighed and Jean felt him releasing his body and falling on the bed. In two seconds he had blacked out and Jean decided it was time to call it a night.

  


\---------------------------------

 

The next morning, Jean was the first one to get up. He started to clean up the house and do the dishes. He went outside to throw out the garbage and saw Eren nearly running away from Levi's apartment. He was in such a rush that he didn't even notice Jean, even though he held a huge garbage bag. Jean sighed and went to Levi's apartment. It took him about two minutes to open the door.

“What?” Levi asked.

“What did you do to him?”

“Who? Eren? Nothing.”

“Then why did he leave like the building was on fire?” Jean sighed.

“Because he's a giant wuss and doesn't want to accept the fact that he wants to suck my dick.” Levi said, leaning against the door frame and crossing his arms.

“...That is a beautiful explanation. Just give the guy a break, okay?”

“What do you think I'm doing? Am I holding him here and forcing him to do anything?” Levi rose his eyebrows.

“No, you're not. What I meant was... Let him come to you, okay?”

“I don't even have his phone number. And I'm fine, don't worry. He'll come back.”

“How do you know?”

“I know, trust me. Now, can I go back to bed or do you still have some 'straight' friends I can 'turn'?”

“Be my guest.” Jean rolled his eyes and went back to his apartment.

Armin was sitting on the bed, using his hands to support his head.

“Hey, are you okay?”

“My head hurts. Please lower your voice.” He asked.

“Sorry.” Jean chuckled, kissing his head.

“...Did I ask to have sex with you last night?”

“You did.”

“...Did we...?”

“Nope.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah.”

“...Thanks.”

“No problem. Like I said when we first tried, I don't wanna do anything that's gonna make you uncomfortable.”

“Thank you.” Armin held his hand, leaning against him. “Do you wanna have breakfast now?”

“Sure. Do you want something special?”

“How about that cake from last night?” Armin smiled.

“Cake for breakfast. Now _that's_ a healthy life.”

  


\---------------------------------

 

As winter came the nights were getting colder and colder. Spending their nights in bed, cuddling and reading had become a routine in Jean and Armin's life. Jean still took half an hour to read a single page of a Braille book, but the challenge was definitely taking his mind of Erwin and his painting.

Sometimes he would even close his eyes, trying to understand Armin a little bit more. But he knew it wasn't the same. He knew that he could simply open his eyes and see everything.

“Aren't you curious to know what sight is like?” The words escaped his brain and were said before Jean could think about it.

“Why are you asking this all of a sudden?”

“I dunno. It's just weird for me to imagine opening my eyes and seeing... Nothing.”

“Well, to me it's weird to imagine opening my eyes and _seeing_ something.” Armin chuckled. “But, yeah. I'm curious sometimes. I mean, the other day Levi talked about how you were 'all about the looks' and that's funny for me. I don't know what 'beauty' is like. I have no idea how people can be attracted to each other's bodies. Everyone says that celebrities are gorgeous, like, 'Oh, Adam Levine, he's so good looking!' and blablabla, but I don't even know what he looks like in the first place!”

“So... If you could see, you'd wanna see Adam Levine?” Honestly, Jean was a little disappointed at Armin's choice. Not because he didn't find Adam Levine handsome, but it's not like he was on the top of Jean's “Hottest Man Alive” list.

“Well, actually, I'd like to see a woman. Like Angelina Jolie, Halle Berry... People always talk so much about them, I kinda wanna see the reason.”

“Maybe it's because they can, let's say, dress up more. I mean, if men dress up it's usually a suit and they're done, but women have to choose the dress, make-up, accessories... Honestly, dressing up must be much more interesting for them.” Jean said as he imagined what his female version would be like and if it would be as good looking as he was as a man.

“Even so, no man wants to become one.” Armin said in a low voice.

“What? A woman?”

“Yeah. And do you know why that is?”

“Huh...” Jean tried thinking about it, but Armin replied before he could do so.

“Because women are treated like shit, and no man wants to be treated like that.”

Jean didn't really know how to reply to that. The conversation had taken a completely different path and Armin's tone had changed completely.

“Are you okay? Why are you saying this?”

“Because...” Armin was silent for a few seconds, but didn't move from his spot in Jean's arms. “...Because I was treated like one.”

“What do you mean? When?” Jean put down his book.

“I got into college and I fell in love with a guy. We dated for four months before we slept together. I didn't have much experience so I didn't know what an asshole he'd been that night. But then I woke up and he wasn't there. I assumed he had to get out in a rush for a good reason, but as it turned out I was part of a bet.”

“A bet?” Jean was trying to process all that.

“He and his friends had been playing a little game: Who can have sex with more people in a year. They had a point scale to determine the winner, and of course the 'blind guy' was worth a hundred points.”

Jean was trying to make his brain believe his ears, but it was impossible. He knew people could treat others like shit, he knew they could be mean but this was on a completely different level. It was like all the boundaries were simply gone.

“...And in the end, he told details about our night to his friends, who spread them out to the whole school. So, yeah, I guess you can imagine how nice my college life was after that.”

“I-...I don't-...” Jean was trying to say something, anything that would make that a little less awful, but there was no way. Nothing he could say could make it better.

“You don't have to say anything. I just thought I should tell you my shameful cliche story since we're basically living together.”

Jean felt his heart drop at that comment.

“Wait... You're ashamed of _that_?” He moved from his position to look at Armin's face. “Armin, this guy is the only one that should be ashamed. You've done nothing wrong!”

Jean gave him a hug and a kiss on the cheek before holding his hands.

“I'm sorry this happened to you, and I promise I'll never do anything like that. If I ever go completely insane and decide to end things up, I'll do it properly and explain my good reasons to do so.”

“I know. I know you will. And that's why I wish I could just erase that memory from my mind and just... Move forward.”

“And you will. Not now, not today, but you will. And I'll help you with whenever I can. Just don't feel pressured, okay?”

“Okay.” Armin smiled before placing a kiss on Jean's bottom lip. “Thank you.”

“So... Do you wanna eat something?” Jean asked as he imagined what he could do with the ingredients in the fridge.

“What? How did the topic change from my past to food?” Armin chuckled.

“I'm sorry, but these times ask for a good meal. Something that'll make you feel so stuffed your heart won't be able to feel any pain.” At this point Jean was already picturing the dishes in his mind.

“...Wow... That was... Really sweet.”

Armin commented and Jean finally thought about what he had said. He was embarrassed about how honest and stupid it sounded but, somehow, Armin liked it. Maybe he wasn't so smart after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was going to make it clear who's line it was during the drunk-talk between Armin and Jean, but I thought it'd be more interesting if you guys were as confused as they were. Hahaha! I hope it worked.  
> Also I hope you guys like this new chapter!


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Levi is an (asshole) inspiration to us all. ♥~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 9! OMFG!!!ヽ(≧▽≦)ノ♪
> 
> After 8 months! ...OMFG... ( ; ゜Д゜)
> 
> I'm sorry it took so long, but anyway... Here's the new chapter! Huh... So... Um... I should warn people about the "explicit" content on this chapter? Well, it's not explicit but... It's almost that? Not even close? I dunno, man. Just proceed with caution if you're uncomfortable with it!!! (；・ω・)
> 
> Also, this chapter ended up being a little Levi-centric. (￣ο￣) I hope you don't mind. I kinda like to explore other character beside the pairing sometimes.
> 
> Anyways, have a good reading!!!! (*￣∇￣)ノ

Christmas time had come. There were decorated trees, houses and stores everywhere. The Christmas Spirit was alive and spreading joy through the homes.

... Except for Jean's.

Being less than a week away from the deadline of his life, many terms could be used to describe his current feeling, but if it could be summoned up in a single word it would have be “desperate”.

“I'll never make it. I'll never make it and I'll never find people to buy my paintings again. Of course I won't. Why would day? I'm the worst artist on Earth. I can't do anything.” He murmured to himself as he prepared lunch.

“Will he ever shut up?” Eren asked, annoyed.

“Eren. Leave him alone.” Armin replied. “He's just nervous.”

“No. No, no. I'm not 'nervous'. I'm 'fucked'. That's what I am.” Jean turned around, not so gently placing the pot in the middle of the table.

“If you were fucked you'd be in a better mood.” Levi mocked.

Since Armin's birthday a lot had changed in the group's dynamics. About a week after, Jean had caught Eren saying goodbye to Levi with a kiss. (And, of course, running away as fast as he could when he saw Jean standing on the stairs.). Jean looked at Levi just to see a discreet smirk on the man's face and hear a very proud “I told you he'd come back.” before closing the door.

And indeed he came. One, two, three times until Jean was not sure if he even _left_ anymore. Probably not. They had a weird relationship, but it was definitely there. They did not talk much. They did not touch each other much. But their eyes did all of this for them.

At that moment, Eren was finishing serving his own plate as he looked into Levi's eyes. The older man rose an eyebrow and Eren's eyes rose his too. He took the salt and passed it, keeping his eyes fixed on Levi, who searched the table for the potatoes before giving them to Eren. Eren furrowed his brows and Levi rose his. Eren rolled his eyes and looked down. Levi continued to stare until Eren took a couple and put it on his plate.

This happened everyday, all day, ever since they met. Their eyes did the talking their mouths refused to. The behavior lasted a few minutes before Armin slammed the table with one hand, bringing everyone's attention to him.

“HEY!!! YOU'RE DOING IT AGAIN, AREN'T YOU???” He complained.

“Wha-? Yes, but...It's not like we can help it!” Eren defended himself.

“Stop it! Talk! I hate this silence!” Armin said as he angrily ate his meal. “You guys are _jerks_!”

Even though Jean knew it was an actual complaint, seeing Armin get angry at something so silly was nothing more than funny. Fortunately, he was not the only one to think so. Though Eren and Levi apologized, Jean could see they were holding back their laughs, just as much as he was.

As they finished lunch, Armin and Jean left to do their last minute Christmas shopping. It was the 23rd and the stores were either packed or barely had any products left. Jean got into a book store, looking for the perfect gift for Levi. It was not that unusual for Jean to leave the shopping for later, but ever since he met Levi there was not a single Christmas he _would not_  be shopping on the last minute. He had to find a good gift for a man who... Did not need anything.

Levi's home did not have a lot of furniture, nor did it have many decorating pieces, but that was not a matter of money. Levi was a simple man, with simple needs. He needed food, drinks, cleaning utensils and, most recently, Eren. No more, no less. So buying things for him seemed like an impossible task.

“Why don't you give him one of your paintings?” Armin suggested as Jean whined inside the store about not being able to find a gift.

“Come on, I can't even paint for Erwin, how could I paint something for Levi?” Jean replied.

“I don't know. I just felt it would be cool. Getting a painting from someone close to you. Even though I don't really _get_ paintings in the fist place, it seems like a cool gift.” Armin shrugged.

Jean knew Armin did not get it, but he wished so hard that he could. Jean thought it would be, not only conceited, but also worthless to give Levi a painting. Why would a man who owns a _gallery_ , that sees amazing art day after day, want one of his paintings? Erwin might be rich and have a good eye but that did not mean he knew art that well. Not as much as Levi. With that thought, he discarded the idea.

Of course, he changed his mind after going into seventeen different stores, finding nothing suitable.

“Okay, maybe... _Maybe_ I can give him something... Acceptable.” Jean sighed as they sat down to have some coffee.

“I'm telling you, he'll like it.”

“No, he won't. But I can't go into another store. I'm done.”

Armin chuckled at that and took another sip of his coffee.

 

\---------------------------------

 

As Jean got home he instantly regretted giving up on finding a gift. He had no idea what he should paint to please Levi. He walked around the house for a while until he finally decided to sit down in front of the easel and paint. He did not know how, but he promised himself he would not get up until that painting was done.

He probably stared at the blankness of the canvas for over twenty minutes before closing his eyes and picturing Levi in his mind.

_What do I think of him? What does he mean to me?_

He started to paint a few dark colors, which he judged appropriate. Levi wasn't Armin. Armin was bright, colorful and somehow fragile, while Levi was dark and strong. Even so, Jean felt the need of putting some of his brightest blue surrounding the white in the middle of that ocean of dark colors.

Took him some long hours until he was done. Even though he started painting at seven, it was almost three in the morning when he finally finished. He felt somehow satisfied with his painting. It was not one of his best works (It needed more color.) but Jean had to admit it showed his image of Levi pretty well. It was mostly dark with intimidation, but it had some light in there. A light that could guide Jean when he needed it.

 _So_ that's _how I feel about him. Huh._

Jean himself was surprise to find out where Levi would fit in his life. Armin was his love, his everything, his friend, his lover, his world. Sasha was his friend, his boss and his teacher. Marco was his friend, his roomate, his video games pal. Eren, Mikasa, Connie, Krista were his friends. But Levi... Levi was hard to place. He was so confident and inspiring that it was intimidating.

Jean instantly remembered Levi's words about Eren. _“He'll come back.”_ , _“Trust me.”_. He wasn't wrong, indeed. He knew his charm would be enough to lure Eren back to him, in the best of ways. He knew what he wanted and had done everything to get it as soon as possible.

Unlike Jean. Who could not even start the painting for Erwin.

Jean felt angry at himself and decided to go to bed, not even bothering to eat something. He carefully laid on the bed, trying not wake Armin up. It didn't really work, but Armin went back to sleep as soon as they cuddled and Jean caressed his head.

 

\---------------------------------

 

Christmas came and Jean and Marco's apartment was full again. Sasha and Connie had decided to stay home to celebrate their first Christmas together after a long time. But Mikasa, Eren, Levi and Mina were enough to crowd the small space.

For some reason, Jean found Armin specially gorgeous that night. Maybe it was because he was smiling more than usual, but something seemed different. He knelt beside his boyfriend who had been in front of the Christmas tree, placing a few decorations on it.

“Armin, not to be a jerk, but this looks awful.” Eren mocked.

“It does not. It looks beautiful.”

“Okay, you don't even know what this means. And seriously, you put three things on the same branch, and they are all red.”

“First of all, I'm offended. And second, if you ask a guy that can't see to help you decorate a Christmas tree, this is what you get. Now back off.” Armin replied, faking indignation.

Eren just chuckled and started to put Armin's decorations in more suitable places. Jean and Marco had been helping by preparing the food, Mina was helping by decorating the back of the tree, along with Mikasa and Levi was helping by sitting on the couch, doing absolutely nothing.

During dinner, the group was quite chatty. Eren was being unusually loud as he discussed about a game or whatever with Marco and the rest of the group was mostly focused on talking about the delicious food. Jean did not want to brag, but his dinner was amazing.

The food ended around midnight or so, but the group continued the conversation until two or three in the morning. Mikasa ended up sleeping on the couch, while Levi took Eren to his apartment and Marco took Mina into his room. As the last ones standing, Jean and Armin were left alone in the living room, chatting for another half an hour.

“This is totally not how it happened. You were just trying to embarrass me in front of my friends.” Jean laughed.

“It is so! You left me at the store! The clerk even came to help me!” Armin replied, laughing.

“I said 'we should get this.' and walked away!”

“How am I supposed to know you went away??? You never told me!”

“Oh, shut up. You should come with some kind of sensor for this shit from the factory.” Jean continued, wiping the tears of his eyes.

“That is _so_ offensive. You're all going to hell.” Armin finished his drink with a gulp.

“Yeah, and you'll be there to keep us company.” Jean laughed and did the same. “Well... Food is over, drinks are over, should we go to bed?”

Armin's smiled faded for a second before coming back, brighter than before.

“Y-Yeah, let's go.”

Jean thought his behavior was weird, but did not give it much thought. He took his boyfriend's arm and lead him to the bathroom, where they brushed their teeth before heading to the bed.

Armin sat down first, seeming incredibly uncomfortable.

“...Are you okay? You're acting weird.”

“N-No! I mean, yes, yes, I'm fine. Um... So... Um... Kiss?” Armin moved his hands in all sorts of weird ways, making Jean raise an eyebrow.

“Huh... Okay...”

Nevertheless, Jean leaned in for a goodnight kiss. He just never expected Armin to grab his collar and deepen the kiss. Jean did not miss his chance and leaned over his boyfriend, enjoying every second of it.

Armin took a good few minutes to end the kiss in search for air. He gently held Jean's hair, keeping the space between them almost imperceptible. He gave Jean's lips a peck and lowered his hand without losing contact with Jean's skin until he found the button of his shirt. He undid the buttons with shaking hands and an uneven breath.

Jean seemed to be stuck in time. His body froze with the idea of finally, after waiting for so, so, so long, getting an actual chance to sleep with Armin.

_Don't think about it. Don't get your hopes up. He's the one to decide, not you, so keep in mind that he might not want to follow through. Just be kind and try not to think about fucking him into oblivion as you hear his perfect moans and... God fucking dammit, Jean, you had one fucking job!!!_

Jean tried so hard think about things other than his amazing boyfriend kissing his bare chest in the sexiest way possible —  _He'll be the death of me. I'm sure of it. This is how I die._ _—_  that he did not even hear when Armin called his name the first time.

“Jean!” He called, louder.

“Wh-What? What is it?”

“D-...Do... Something. Please.”

_Ladies and gentleman, we are gathered here today to say our goodbyes to Jean Kirstein. He was a pervert._

“W-What... What do you... Huh... What can I...?” Jean was trying to formulate sentences with the few words that came to his mind.

“W-Wh... Whatever you want.”

“But what if...”

“If... If Im uncomfortable with something I'll... Find a way to show it. Just... Please.”

“Okay.” Jean said and took a deep breath.

He told himself he could do it and focused. He gave Armin another kiss on the lips before moving to his neck and shoulders, slowly getting rid of his boyfriend's shirt. In very few minutes the clothes were gone. Everything happened so naturally that Jean actually had to check to see if anything was still on either of them.

Of course that meant looking at Armin's completely naked body which made his head spin. Armin had definitely been sculpted by some God with an incredible taste, because he was absolutely perfect. From the top of his blond head to the tip of his delicate toes, there was not a single thing out of place. Jean knew he must have had flaws, but he was unable to see them.

“Could we... Is it okay if we... Just...” Armin started.

“What?” Jean asked in a whisper.

“Can we just... Skip... Like... Just go to the...” Armin's face turned more and more scarlet with every word.

“You wanna skip like.... The foreplay?”

“Y-Yes. P-Please. I just... I'm nervous and... W-We can do it later but...”

“Sure. Sure! Armin, relax. Tonight... Tonight is your night. Honestly, anything you ask of me, I'll enjoy. Really. Just tell me what you want.”

“T-Thank you. I'm sorry for being selfish, I just... I need it to be faster.”

“Sure, just don't push yourself okay? Take your time.” Armin smiled at that, but he still seemed nervous. “Just don't take all night, 'cause you're really hot and I totally wanna do you.”

“Oh my God!” Armin laughed, gently pushing Jean away. “Get off me, we'll never do this!”

“No way sir! Now we're doing this!!!” Jean laughed as well, grabbing Armin's wrists and pinning them over his head before kissing him. “And I'll show you how much I love you.”

After that final whisper, there was silence. No more words were needed, just affection. Jean was careful and tender, making sure Armin was ready for every new step. As Armin requested, Jean didn't say anything, but touched him slowly enough to give Armin plenty of time to deny it. It was their kind of communication.

After the limits of their comfort zones were defined, things became more intense, but also more relaxing. Being with Armin just felt right. The warmth of his body touching Jean's, the sound of his lewd voice, the feel of his nails digging into Jean's back... Everything felt so good Jean thought he was having another dream about how amazing Armin would be.

But it was not. It was all too real and Jean could not believe how lucky he was until they finished. Jean laid in bed and pulled Armin closer for another kiss. Armin had half his body on top of Jean's when he gave the brunet a kiss on the cheek and held his hand.

“That... That was... Pretty great.” Armin said and Jean was not sure if the redness of his cheeks was from embarrassment or an after effect of their previous activity.

“'Pretty great'? Sir, that was amazing. The best ever. So awesome that no one will ever surpass it.” Jean mocked, with a little bit of true in his joke.

“No, that's not true.” Armin kissed Jean's lips. “... You can surpass it next time.”

The words “next time” continued to echo in Jean's mind until he finally passed out of exhaustion.

 

\---------------------------------

 

Christmas morning started well. Really well. “Armin-kissing-Jean's-lips-multiple-times-with-a-huge-smile-on-his-face” well.

“Hmm... What's this? Someone is happy.” Jean mocked, forcing his eyes open.

“So, _so_ happy! We should open the presents soon. And... And... Maybe... Before that I could give you something else?” Armin's smile did not fade as he blushed.

“...Am I dreaming? Seriously, because if I wake up and find you you didn't actually say those words my world might crumble.” Jean said, pushing Armin away until he became the one on top.

After a _really_ good start of the day, Jean and Armin finally decided to leave the bed. As soon as they got into the kitchen, Marco and Mina blushed violently and refused to look them in the eyes.

“H-Hey, g-good morning, guys. Huh... Do you want breakfast?” Marco asked nervously.

Jean knew the reason for that. Armin was absolutely perfect, and everything he did made Jean's heart skip a beat. But Armin had one very, very discinct characteristic under the sheets.

He was loud. Very, very loud.

Jean did not mind, of course. In fact, it turned him on even more, but Marco. Ohh, poor Marco. He did not even know where to look anymore. His face was almost the same color as the tomatoes on the table. Mikasa, on the other hand, sat on the table, drinking her coffee and reading the newspaper, not saying a word.

The awkward moment did not last long, though. Levi came, with all his grace, slamming the door and getting in on his own right after, followed by Eren.

“Wow. Good morning, Levi. Merry Chri-” Jean started.

“Don't give me that shit!!! What the fuck were you doing to Doctor Mid-Nite there last night that made him scream so much????”

Subtlety had never been one of Levi's strong points.

“Jesus fuck, what is the matter with you???” Eren punched Levi in the arm. “Armin, it's fine, please don't be upset.”

Jean looked at Armin and realized he was about to cry.

“Ouch, what the fuck? It's a fucking joke! Who cares if he's loud? It's his own fucking business. Also, it was directed at Jean, not him.”

“...But... It's embarrassing.” Armin said in a whisper, on the verge of crying.

Jean then realized it. His ex-boyfriend had told this and everything else to everyone. That's why Armin was so embarrassed.

“Why is it embarrassing?” Levi said in a strangely paternal tone.

“What do you mean? It's obviously embarrassing!” Armin protested.

“Why? Because you had good sex? Anyone that makes fun of you for having sex good enough for you to scream like that is obviously the one needing a dick up their ass.”

And that was Levi. Rude, not at all considerate of his own words, but deep down a caring person. There was silence in the room before Armin's laugh broke it.

“Y-you're right. I never thought... Th-Thank you.”

Armin got up and guided himself to where Levi was, touching his shoulder before giving him a strong hug. Levi looked so surprised and awkward that everyone else in the room had to try their best not to laugh.

“O-Okay... Okay, that's fine. Lemme go.” Levi gave Armin two pats on the back and pushed him away.

After the group had breakfast, they all went back into the living room to open the presents. When it was Jean's turn he took a deep breath before giving Levi his painting. Levi spend quite a few minutes observing it with care, in absolute silence before he finally opened his mouth.

“When did you do this?”

“... On the night of the 23rd.” Jean admited.

“Forget about Erwin's painting until the 30th.” Levi said as he got up, heading to the door. “You work better under pressure.”

“Where are you going?” Eren asked.

“To hang this.” Levi said, leaving the apartment.

Jean looked at Armin who smiled proudly after hearing Levi's words. Suddenly the pressure of Erwin's painting seemed to have disappeared from his heart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's 3AM and I finally got to finish revising this fic. I just hope everything still looks okay when I wake up in the morning. (Ｔ▽Ｔ)~
> 
> EDIT: Not so bad as I thought, but I corrected a few mistakes.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Jean finally finishes Erwin's painting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, here I am again. Sorry I'm late,but I finally got the hang of using the virtual keyboard (Thank God for touch screen.). orz
> 
> I won't talk much, so please enjoy this chapter! ヾ(*´∀｀*)ﾉ

Following Levi's advice, Jean tried to forget about Erwin's painting for a while. He spent his days enjoying Armin company, playing video games with Marco, cooking, eating or doing anything that would take his mind of it. However, when the night of the 29th finally came, he was starting to get anxious again. He was in the shower, staring at the floor, letting the water fall on him, trying to come up with something when he overheard Armin speaking on the phone.

“Yes, yes, Ms. Brooks, it's fine. Yes, you can bring him to me today. But it would have to be after four. Okay. Okay, yes, don't worry. No, no, the usual price is fine. Really. I don't mind. Okay, see you later.”

Jean had heard the name Brooks before somewhere but he could not recall when or where.

“Hey, get out of the water, I know you're wasting it again.” Armin said, getting into the bathroom.

“Sorry.” Jean said, turning off the shower and getting out. “Who was that?”

“Ms. Brooks. She wants me to check if Mike's doing fine because he'll perform at a New-Years party. Do you mind if we sleep in my place tonight? I have some chores to do and I don't really want to keep going back and forth.”

Jean remembered this boy, Michael Brooks, from the name. Armin always talked about how he was a great student. Since Armin was not specially famous, living as a pianist was still a little hard. So he had a few private students to help him pay the bills and other not so relevant expenses, like the cupcakes he loved so much.

“No, not at all.” Jean wrapped his towel around his waist and held Armin's face in his hand to give him a kiss. “Maybe we can bother your neighbors for a change.”

“J-JEAN!!!” Armin slapped his arm, blushing. “S-Shut up! W-We won't-...! I-... S-Shut up!”

Armin tried to leave dramatically, but that does not work so well when you do not see where you are going and hits the furniture about three times before finally exiting the room. Jean did his best not to laugh out loud by watching that ridiculous scene.

 

\---------------------------------

 

Jean had spent the whole day in the shop, preparing the cupcakes. The end of the year holidays were quite busy for them. Christmas was insane, but New-Year's eve did not fall behind. He left the shop at six, with the promise of finishing decorating the cupcakes at home.

Armin's house was not very far, but Jean took a while to get there carrying all the cases with such care. He got into the house using the spare keys Armin had given him and saw his boyfriend by the piano, listening to the seven year-old boy playing it. Armin rose his hand and smiles briefly to acknowledge Jean's arrival.

“That was very good, but you made a mistake right there in the middle, didn't you?”

“...I-I'm sorry...” The boy lowered his head.

“Just relax. Why are you so nervous? We played this a hundred times. What is wrong this time? The mistakes you've been making are so silly. You know you can do better, and so do I.” Armin asked in a gentle tone.

“... I don't want mommy to get angry.”

Armin sighed, lowering himself and placing one hand on the boy's knee.

“Listen, your mom gets angry sometimes, I know, but... She's just trying to help you. I can ask her to be a little more relaxed if you want. Would that be okay? But you gotta get this right. And not because there will be people watching or because your mom wants to, but because _you can do this_.” Armin took the boys hand in his. “To show this little fingers or yours that keep touching the wrong keys that you're smarter than they are!”

Armin smiled and started to play with the boys fingers, shaking them a little. The boy instantly started to laugh.

Jean smiled and silently took the cupcakes to the kitchen, starting to decorate them. After another hour or two, Ms. Brooks came to pick up her son. Jean heard Armin telling the boy to go to the kitchen.

_Wait, what?_

“Hi. Who are you?” The boy asked before Jean could assimilate what was happening.

“Huh... Hi. I'm Jean...”

“Are you one of uncle Armin's friends? What are you doing?”

“I-Huh... Yeah. I'm his... Friend.” Jean was uncomfortable enough dealing with a kid, but being cautious about how much of their relationship could be revealed made it much harder. “I'm making cupcakes.”

“Why?”

_What do you mean 'Why?' kid? Because I am! Because I want people to eat them? What kind of question is that?_

“Because that's my job.”

“...Isn't that a girl's job?”

Little Mike was lucky he was just a kid, because Jean had promised himself to punch the next asshole that asked him that.

“No, it's not. Cupcakes are good. Here, have one.”

Jean took one of the unfrosted cupcakes and put it on the table, where the boy could reach it. Mike sat on the chair and took the cupcake, taking a bite. The boy widened his eyes and ate the whole cupcake in a second.

“Can I have another one?”

_Kid didn't even taste it! What the fuck? Kids are savages._

“Huh...Sorry. These are part of my job, so if I give you more, my boss will get mad at me.”

“Not even a tiiiiiiiny tiny piece?” Mike lowered himself, hiding behind the table, letting just his little fingers and the upper half his head visible.

“No, sorry.” Jean chuckled. He had to admit the kid was cute. “But I can give you a little star.”

Jean took one of the little silver stars he would use to decorate the cupcakes and gave it to the boy. He stared at it for a while before eating it, satisfied. His mother came in a few minutes later.

“Hey, honey. Let's go home? Do you want some ice cream or...?”

“I want a cupcake, mommy!” He jumped out of the chair, excited.

“What? Huh... Okay?” She looked at Jean. “Hm, hello. I'm Mike's mother.”

“Oh, hi, I'm Jean. I'm Armin's... Friend. Sorry about the cupcakes, it's kinda my fault. I gave him one. I hope it's okay.” He confessed, scratching his nape.

“Yes, of course. It's fine. Thank you. Huh... You seem professional, should I pay you for it or...?”

“No, no! Please. It's a gift.” Jean quickly denied. “He was happy. That's my payment.”

“Thank you.” She smiled and started to leave. “It was nice meeting you. Thank you for the cupcake.”

“Thank you, mister!” Little Mike smiled and waved at them.

Armin led them to the door and came back to the kitchen.

“So... Who knew you would be good at handling kids?” He commented.

“And who knew you would be able to walk so well inside this house. I mean, seriously. It was a little scary. Are you sure you can't see?”

Jean had to ask. Armin always complained about Jean's apartment, saying it was hard for him to walk inside it, but Jean never understood until he saw Armin walking inside his own place. Of course, he would hit a furniture or another from time to time, but he could walk in a much smoother way, knowing all too well where everything was.

“So, about that... I was lying. I can see. I was just pretending. Sorry.” Armin confessed.

“I knew it. You lying bastard. Open this eyes right now!” Jean hit the table once, faking anger.

“Hang on.”

Armin actually turned his head in Jean's direction and his eyelids started shaking a little. Jean was just messing around, but Armin was actually about to show him his eyes. He stared for a second before Armin opened them. His pupils and irises were almost the same color. A strange mix of white, gray and blue that attracted Jean like a beautiful masterpiece in a gallery.

“...Wow...” He whispered, holding Armin's face to take a better look.

“Huh... W-What- What are you doing?” Armin was blushing as he asked.

“How could you keep that away from me? This... Is is so amazing.”

“Keep... What away from you?”

“Your eyes... They are so incredible.”

Armin's eyebrows rose at that comment and he took Jean's hands away, closing his eyes.

“Huh... T-Thank you?”

“No, no! Don't close them! Lemme see a little bit more!”

“No, it's tiring.” Armin chuckled.

“But they are so beautiful. Seriously, you have no idea. I wish I could lend you my vision just so you could understand how gorgeous you are.” Jean held Armin's face and kised his lips.

“...Why do you care about this?” Armin held Jean's hands, taking them away from his face and holding them in his lap. “I mean, this is not a critic or anything, I'm just... Trying to understand. You... You love me, don't you?”

“What? Of course I love you! I love you more than anything.” Jean did not understand the meaning of that question.

“Then why do you care if I look good? Why do I need to know how supposedly good-looking I am?”

Armin asked and Jean found himself lost. He had always cared about looks, but he did not understand _why_. He simply did.

“Well... I like beauty. I like looking at something and feeling good about it. How can I explain it... Oh! Okay, do you know when you hear a really good song and it makes you feel good? Like, you just wanna lose yourself in it and listen to it for hours?”

“Yes! I know! You get the same feeling by looking at something 'beautiful'?” Armin had never sounded so excited, if not watching 'The Phantom of the Opera'.

“YES!” Armin's excitement was contagious. “That's the felling! You see, when I look at a beautiful painting, a beautiful food or, well... People like _you_. That's my feeling. I feel so satisfied that they exist that I just wanna look at them forever.”

“Ohh, that _does_ sounds exciting!” Armin smiled, getting a little closer. “Wow, I kind of want to see now!”

He laughed, seeming extremely happy.

“No one has ever explained it to me like that. They tried to explain me what sight was like but I never quite got it. Well, I still don't fully understand but it at least now I have an idea.” Armin touched Jean's face. “Thank you.”

He bit his lower lip, lowering his head just a bit as he caressed Jean's cheek. Jean took the chance to steal another kiss. A longer one this time.

“This also feels like a great song.” Armin whispered as they separated.

Jean tried to think about something to say, but nothing came. He felt he could never express how much he loved Armin. Not with words.

“I gotta finish this cupcakes. Would you give me a few hours?” Jean caressed Armin's cheek.

“Only if you make them all perfect so there's an extra one left for me.” Armin chuckled, his arms around Jean's neck.

“I'll do my best.” Jean laughed, giving him a quick peck on the neck and going back to his cupcakes. He was definitely much more inspired now.

 

\-------------------------------

 

Armin had stayed in the kitchen, chatting for the whole time Jean was decorating the cupcakes, but now Jean was finally free of his duties, so they decided to head out for dinner.

Jean found amusing how nervously people acted around Armin, as if anything they did wrong was being judged by some kind of blind God. Specially because he remembered clearly that he was the exact same way when they started dating.

So much had changed since then. With time they got more intimate, more relaxed around each other and now Jean's love was not a simple attraction to a good looking guy. It was actual love.

“What is it? Why are you so quiet?”

Armin asked, making Jean realize he had been lost in his thoughts and Armin's beautiful features for so long he did not even notice his hand holding his boyfriend's.

“Nothing. I just... I was just thinking about how much I love you.” Jean admitted.

Armin seemed to have been caught by surprise from the way he blushed.

“I-I love you too.”

Armin held Jean's hand too and they continued to hold hands until they were finished. Which took quite a while, having to eat with one hand only, specially for Armin, whose eating technique was not the simplest.

After their incredibly long dinner and many laughs later, the couple decided to head home. Jean did not waste a second after getting into the empty apartment and kissed Armin, leading him into his room. Having woken all of Armin's neighbors, the couple laid in bed, chatting.

“Shut up! That's no excuse!” Jean sat on the bed, on top of the sheets.

“Yes it is!” Armin laughed, covered up to the chest. “I can't see the damn food! It's much harder for me!”

“So _now_ being blind is a problem? You just suck at eating with only one hand.”

“Oh, screw you!”

“Nah, I'd rather screw _you_.” Jean laughed, giving Armin a kiss.

“Jean!” Armin blushed, pushing him away. “Shut up!”

Though he started to push Jean away, he put one hand on his shoulder, stopping his boyfriend from leaving his side.

“Hey, can I ask you something?” Jean asked.

“What?”

“Can I... See them again? Your eyes.”

“W-Why?” Armin seemed embarrased.

“I just love them. I mean, they are so beautiful. If I could I wanted to... Well, I wanted to put them in my painting in some way, but I want to remember the exact colors.” Jean confessed.

“...You're a weird guy.” Armin chuckled.

“I'm not weird!” Jean protested.

“Yes you are!” Armin laughed, kissing him. “But I guess that's one of the reasons I love you. Go get you things. You will finish this painting today!”

“I sure hope so, because I have like... Fifteen hours to finish it.” Jean said after checking the clock. “...I'm so fucked.”

Jean ran to get everything he needed. Fearing he might spend longer than expected in Armin's place, he had brought his utensils just in case.

“No, you're not. Stay calm.”

“Okay. Okay, relax.” Jean said to himself as he sat on the bed, holding the canvas in his left hand. “Alright, open sesame!”

“...Wow. Say that one more time I'll never speak to you again.”

“I'm sorry, I'm sorry!” Jean laughed. “Just open it, come on!”

“Rude.” Armin complained, but still opened his eyes.

Jean spent a few seconds, staring at them before remembering his duty. He started to mix blue and white, trying to create the same tone. A dash of black was added to give it a gray-ish tone. The process took quite a while. Jean wanted it to look as close as possible to the real thing.

“Okay, I think I got it. Well, not really because no color I make with these paints will be as beautiful as your eyes but, well, it's close enough.”

“...Huh... T-Thanks. C-Can I close them now?” Armin blushed and tried to change the subject.

“Not yet.” Jean carefully put his utensils to the side and pulled Armin closer for a kiss.

This was probably the first time Jean did not close his eyes during a kiss. He would often take a peek, just for a second, to admire his partners but he never actually kept his eyes opened. But everything about Armin made him want to stare for as long as possible.

“There. You can close them now.” Jean whispered.

“I-I-...O-Okay.” Armin seemed a little dazzled by the kiss.

Jean took the canvas again and started to paint. He was still a little lost, so he followed his instincts and let the work create itself. He would think of Armin, trying to find out where to paint next and what color he should add.

He took his time to finish it and by the time he was done Armin was already sleeping. Jean made sure there were no paint stains on his shirt and laid in bed next to his boyfriend.

“Did you do it?” Armin mumbled, getting closer to Jean.

“Yeah. I think so. I'll check again in the morning. I'm tired.”

“Hm-mh.” Armin confirmed, going back to sleep.

 

\-------------------------------

 

Jean kept pacing around the house, checking himself in the mirror every ten seconds. He had never been so anxious before.

“Jean, stop that. Sit down, Levi is coming soon.” Armin said, reading a book on the couch.

“I'm sorry, but I can't sit down.”

Armin sighed, putting away his book and getting up. He walked over to Jean and put his arms around his boyfriend's neck.

“Calm down. You'll be fine.” Armin gently touched Jean's cheek. “You were happy with your work, and I'm sure it's great. Levi thought so too. Just be confident and calm.”

“Okay. I'll try.” Jean took a deep breath and heard a few familiar and not so gentle knocks on the door. He opened it to find Eren and Levi on the other side. “Are you one person? Why does he always have to come?”

“Says the guy that spends the whole day fucking my best friend.” Eren retorted.

“I would brag, but I don't need to.” Jean gave him a smug smile.

“Can I stay out of your bickering, please?” Armin approached, his cheeks slightly flushed.

“Not when we can hear you from our bed like you're in the same room. Seriously, sometimes I think you guys use a megaphone or something.” Levi commented.

“STOP THAT!!!” Armin hid is face with his hands.

Jean exchanged a soft smile with Levi before they left together. Eren stayed with Armin.

“He's getting better, isn't he?” Levi asked, driving to Erwin's house.

“He is. Thanks for the help.” Jean smiled.

“No problem. It doesn't really feel like helping when I'm just teasing him all day long.”

“True, true.” Jean chuckled. “Still, giving a positive light to something that used o haunt him was great. Thanks.”

“Fine. Now listen, stop thinking about your little boyfriend and focus.” Levi said, stopping the car in front of one of the biggest houses Jean had ever seen.

“This is his house?”

“Yup. You understand now, right? Just be yourself but, well, think before you speak. You don't usually do this, so get used to it. You're gonna need it from now on.”

Though it seemed like a scary statement, Jean understood it was not. Levi was not trying to scare him, but to motivate. Levi had basically said Jean had to train his restraint to be able to get into the world he judged Jean could enter.

Both of them got into the grounds after introducing themselves to the doorman. Jean got out of the car, carefully taking the painting to the mansion. Levi followed him and rang he doorbell. A butler opened and welcomed them into the wonderful house. Erwin soon came to receive them.

“Welcome! I'm sorry it took so long to greet you. The preparations for the party are quite intense.” Erwin explained himself with a soft smile. “So, I believe you have something for me, very worth of my money, right?”

Jean took a deep breath and refrained from looking at Levi. He needed to have confidence in his work and in himself from now on. So he did. He was still insecure, of course, but made sure to hide it very well as he handed his precious painting over to Erwin.

The blond looked at it with a stern expression for quite a while. Jean's heart beat so hard he could almost hear it.

“This is simply amazing, Jean. Thank you.” Erwin smiled.

“Thank you, sir.” He finally took a breath after so long and Levi seemed to be doing the same, by his side.

“So, you're satisfied?” Levi bluntly asked.

“Very much.” Erwin replied.

“Great. Now let's talk prices.” Jean thought Levi could use at least a little bit of subtlety once in a while.

“As I said: This guy really doesn't waste any time, does he?” Erwin stated, not sounding like a complaint at all.

Jean watched the two men walk out of the room and stood there, not sure about what to do. He looked around and the employees were making sure everything was in place. After a few minutes, the party started and Jean started to feel even more out of place. He wore a suit, but his now pink-ish hair styled into a Mohawk and his piercings made very guest in the room pay attention to him. He was used to it, but these people could be his next clients, so he started to rethink his whole life for a moment.

Erwin came back, a while later, followed by Levi. He held a glass and one of his hands and the other was in the pocket of his white suit — Something only he seemed to be able to pull off, according to Jean. — approaching one of the corners in the room, from which people would get in.

Jean's mind froze for a second. He could not believe Erwin had chosen to reveal his painting by introducing it. He imagined it hung on the wall, people seeing it, but never to make a scene out of it. Jean quite liked the attention, but only whenever he was sure he would look good. He checked himself in the glass the waiter had given him and prayed his painting would match his appearance. He had to admit he looked quite good, right now.

“This is a gorgeous painting I have just acquired. It was painted by a very talented young man named Jean Kirstein. Maybe some of you might have heard of him.”

They have not, obviously, but saying that made the room be filled with murmur. Jean could even swear he heard someone saying they had heard of him, and that he looked promising. Ah, the art world.

“In fact, Mr. Kirstein is present today. Please, come tell us about your work.” Erwin extended his hidden hand in Jean's direction.

_Oh God no._

Jean loved to get attention, but his works had always been his weak spot. He had no confidence in them at all and being asked to expose it was like asking him to show his weakness. But he had no choice now. He kept walking to the highest part of the room — _Great. There's even a stage._ — from where Erwin had been speaking. Jean turned to the crowd and took deep a breath to gather courage.

“Hello. I'm Jean Kirstein and... Um... This is a painting that represents a part of someone I cherish in my life. So I really put my heart into this painting. I hope it... Um... Pleases you?” Jean smiled awkwardly.

People clapped. For a moment Jean thought Erwin had paid these people, but he could see a lot of them actually appreciating the painting. He was so glad he could cry. He smiled at Erwin, who raised his glass and smiled softly. Both of them took a sip of their drinks, followed by the guests.

 

\-----------------------------

 

The night flowed perfectly. No one thought Jean looked strange after that. Jean thought maybe they just assumed artists were like this, which was not a complete lie. Jean's body was one of his canvas, and he made sure it looked in a way that pleased him aesthetically.

People approached him, but backed up by his strong confidence he managed to chat and even give his card to a lot of promising clients. It was all thanks to Erwin, which had introduced him to all these people, who led them to believe he was a promise in the art world and even paid for his painting. Jean did not care how much at the moment. After this party, Erwin could have it as a gift if he wanted.

But something still bothered him. Why had Erwin done all of this for him? Why did he help Jean so much? They barely knew each other. He saw Erwin leaving the balcony, alone – Which was rare – and decided to approach him.

“Hello, sir.”

“Oh, Jean. Hello. Did you get many contacts?”

“Yes, yes! Two people even asked me about commissions! I was hoping to get a moment to speak to you and thank you for everything.” Jean hoped Erwin would be willing to say something, but he did not want to force anything.

“Sure.” Erwin smiled and headed to one of the rooms. “Why don't we have a little chat?”

“Thank you, sir.” Jean entered the room and Erwin closed the door behind them.

“So... You wanted to talk?”

“Yes. Um, well, I just wanted to thank you very much for this chance. Really. I'm so grateful for everything you have done for me so far.” Jean squeezed the glass in his hand a little tighter. “I hope I'm not crossing any lines here, and if you feel I'm being rude, please let me know, that is definitely not my intention but... You've helped me so much and...”

“You want to know why.” Erwin cut him off with a soft smile.

“....I... Huh.... Yes.”

_This. Guy. Knows. EVERYTHING!_

“Why don't you sit down for a moment?” Erwin suggested, indicating a chair.

Jean sat down and waited. Erwin walked to a desk and took a few papers out of it, giving them to Jean. They were incredibly beautiful drawings, all signed by the same artist.

“Wow. These are amazing. Are these... Yours?”

“Yes they are.”

“Sir... I never knew you had so much talent. I mean, you clearly have an eye for art but... Wow. Is this how you got so rich?” Jean asked in all his honesty.

“No.” Erwin chuckled. “I was an art teacher.”

“I'm guessing this is _not_ how you got this rich.” Jean mocked, though his heart felt some pain in stating that awful truth.

“No. Not at all. I was a teacher at the Karanese Institute of Art. I was still trying to make a living out of my art alone, but as you may know it's not as simple. I sold my art, but with time I ended up loving teaching so much that I would put much more focus on that. I guess, in the end, it was not what I really wanted for my life. It was fine by me, but I saw my students...” Erwin's eyebrows furrowed. “A few of them would even come to me and up crying. It was so painful for me, as their teacher, to sit there and watch, doing nothing to help.”

Jean understood. He was lucky to have a job that he loved to back him up, but a few of his friends were not so lucky and suffered quite a lot to survive. Like any art, it was a harsh world, specially for those starting it.

“About my wealth, well... I won the lottery.”

Jean's glass nearly fell from his hand. The subject had completely changed and took him off guard.

“What? You... Won the lottery?”

“Yes. Not as dramatic as you expected, right?” Erwin replied, seeming to be holding back his laugh. “Well, I invested my money wisely, kept working and soon I had enough to live my current life. After that, I decided to help those like you. Those students I had, with so much talent wasted because they were not given a chance.”

Jean had probably made the most stupid face as he heard Erwin's story. _That_ is why he knew so much about art. That I why he had helped Jean so much. He saw Jean's talent and invested in him. Jean was not only grateful, but inspired and amazed by Erwin's kindness.

“There is no need to thank me, really.”

Looking for something to say, Jean noticed an important detail in Erwin's story.

“Hang on, did you say you taught in Karanese? My boyfriend went there!”

“Yes, I'm aware of that.”

_Wait, what?_

“You... Know him?” Jean asked.

“Kind of. Well, he was from a different department. But I knew who he was.”

“For a good reason?” Jean asked, knowing the answer.

Erwin's eyebrows furrowed and his eyes were no longer meeting Jean's. He sighted and smiled softly, turning to Jean once again. His movements were not obvious, but Jean was looking for them.

“He was a really talented pianist. I believe he can go far of he wants to. How is he?”

“He's fine. He's happy, working, he's... Fine.” Jean tried to assure him.

“That's good to hear.” Erwin kept his smile, seeming relieved.

Jean knew it meant that even Erwin, from a completely different department knew Armin's story. The room went silent for a moment before Erwin changed the subject. 

 

\--------------------------

 

Jean went back to Armin's place with Levi. They discussed about art the whole way, like it was one of the first talks they had. Those were a few of the times Jean heard Levi talk in such an excited tone.

They got to the apartment and the loud music could be heard from outside. Not just any song. Jean recognized the it as“The Point of No Return”.

“Oh God. Not again.” Jean sighed.

“What the fuck is that?” Levi asked.

“It's _The Phantom of The Opera_.”

“Oh, Eren told me about this. He said blondie is obsessed with it.”

“He is.” Jean admitted and opened the door.

Eren was seating by Armin's side, eating some popcorn. They shared a blanket, Eren's eyes fixated on the screen and Armin's hand seemed stuck in the popcorn bucket Eren held.

_W hen will the blood begin to race?_

_The sleeping bud burst into bloom?_

_When will the flames at last consume us?_

“Oh, oh...” Both of them said, in a low tone, getting clearly excited. “PAAAAAAAAAAAST THE POINT OF NO RETURN! THE FINAL THRESHOLD! THE BRIDGE IS CROSSED, SO STAND AND WATCH IT BUUUURN!!! We've passed the point of no... reeetuuurn...”

When they were done with their singing duo, Levi had an inexplicable expression. He seemed to be trying to understand what was happening.

“It's a lot to take, I know. Do you wanna go down and get a coffee before they notice us?”

“There's nothing I want more in my life right now.”

Levi left so fast Jean had to rush in order to catch up to him. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I always get nervous before posting a new chapter... I hope I haven't let down the people who were hoping Erwin was Armin's ex-boyfriend and so. Hahaha! But I've always wanted to make this fic not very dramatic.  
> Well, I hope you guys liked it anyway. I will do my best to update faster! (;ω;)
> 
> Thank you for reading.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Jean got closer to Armin's friends.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, guys! Happy holidays! ヾ(*´∀｀*)ﾉ  
> I hope you like this chapter. It's a little short, but I wanted to make a more relaxed chapter because I believe the next will, unfortunately, be the last. (;ω;) Let's see how everything turns out!
> 
> Anyway, I hope you enjoy this one!

After Jean received another fairly good amount of money from Erwin, even though he was not naive enough to brag about it, his friends did not miss the opportunity and convinced him to throw a party to celebrate.

It was a weekend, in the middle of January and it was still freezing cold, so Jean, Armin, Marco, Eren and Levi went shopping for the party together. If Jean was going down with the cold, he would take the ones responsible for it with him.

The group got to the supermarket and Jean took the lead and separated the group. Eren and Levi were in charge of the drinks and Jean, Armin and Marco were buying food.

“How about some meat?” Jean asked.

“Hmm... Isn't it a bit too heavy? How about something lighter, like some appetizers? We're gonna have music and dance, right?” Marco asked.

“I agree. How about some little balls? Like... Cheese balls?” Armin suggested.

“Pizza.” Jean was bent over the shopping cart, using his arms to support himself. “I mean, I can make them small, thin, so people can eat as many was they want.”

“How small are those things?” Marco laughed.

“Like, this size, dude.” Jean made a circle with his hands, with about four inches in diameter.

“Oh no, _I_ think it's waaaay too big.” Armin said with a smirk.

“Sorry.” Jean laughed and took his hand to show him the size by drawing it on Armin's hand.

“That's better. I think it's a good idea.” Armin smiled.

Jean was about to pick up the ingredients when he heard someone calling Armin's name. It was an unusual tone and way of speaking, was if the person was not so used to speaking all the time.

“Bertolt?” Armin turned in the voice's direction.

Jean turned too and saw a guy that had to be at least six inches taller than him. Armin seemed even smaller by his side, specially when they exchanged a quick hug and Armin's head was at the level of the man's stomach.

“Hum...” Armin thought for a second before slowly starting to sign.

Jean finally understood. Armin's friend was deaf. He exchanged a look with Marco, both wondering how that conversation going to work.

Bertolt coughed once to clear his throat and started talking again. It was not so hard to understand as Jean had thought it would be.

“(A party? That's really cool! Is it someone's birthday?)”

Armin started to sign again and Bertolt watched him closely.

“(Oh, no, no! I don't wanna meddle.)” Bertolt waved his hands nervously. Jean wondered if he too forgot that Armin could not see.

Armin signed again and took Bertolt's hand, bringing him to Jean. He signed again and searched Jean with his hand. He touched Jean's shoulder and chest to make sure it was the right person and signed again.

“(Nice to meet you, Jeen.)” Bertolt smiled.

Jean was at loss. He looked at Armin and Marco, nervous.

“(You can talk normally. Just look at me, please.)” Bertolt chuckled.

“Oh, huh... Okay. Nice to meet you.” Jean spoke a little slower than usual. “It's Jean, by the way.”

Bertolt seemed confused and pointed at his ear.

“Huh... Hm... Not... Not 'Jeen'. 'Jean' ”

Armin laughed and explained it to Bertolt with signs. Bertolt let out an “Ohhh” and profusely apologized. Jean accepted his apologies by shaking his head, smiling. Armin called for Marco, signing again.

“(Nice to meet you... Marco?)” After his first gaffe, Bertolt was careful.

“Nice to meet you. Will you come to the party?”

“(Is it really okay?)”

“Yeah! Sure!” Marco rose both his thumbs and smiled.

Bertolt seemed shy and rose one thumb, scratching his nape with his other hand. Bertolt ended up joining the group, helping with the food. Since Marco was gentle and had a way with people, Bertolt ended up following him like a puppy.

“I didn't know you knew sign language.”

“I learned in college so I could talk to Bertolt. When everyone in college got away from me, he was the only one who stayed by my side.”

“Oh, I see. I never heard of him, so...”

“We ended up staying apart for a while after college, but we always talk online. He's been working hard. He likes books too, and he works in a library. He's the one that always gets me the books I want.”

“That's really cool." Jean put a few ingredients in the cart and caressed Armin's cheek. “But you're really something else. You always surprise me. I don't even know how you learned to sign but that's simply amazing.”

"Maybe I can teach you some day, loser.” Armin chuckled and held Jean's face, kissing him.

“Jesus fuck, get a room.” Levi showed up from behind Armin, touching his back with a cold bottle.

Armin let out a little yelp, shivering.

“L-Levi!”

“Are you guys done here?” He asked, ignoring Armin's complaints.

“Yeah, let's pay up. Hey, Marco, let's go!” Jean waved and the two man approached.

“Who the fuck is he?” Levi asked, looking at Bertolt.

“Oh, Bertolt!” Eren smiled.”Huh... Hang on...”

Eren thought for a while and signed something, waiting for a reply. Bertolt smiled and made the same gesture.

“He's Bertolt. Armin's friend from college.” Eren explained Levi.

“You're deaf?” Levi pointed at Bertolt and at his own ear, looking at Bertolt.

Bertolt confirmed with his head.

“So, one can't see, the other can't hear... What's next in our special group? A guy in a wheelchair?” Levi mocked and walked away.

Bertolt had obviously read his lips and was not sure about how to react until he saw Armin and Eren laughing. Jean and Marco still felt too guilty to laugh, so they just held it back Bertolt awkwardly chuckled and walked with them to the cashier.

 

\--------------------------

 

The party had started but Jean was still working in the kitchen,  preparing the appetizers when Eren got into the kitchen.

“Hey. Need help?” Eren asked.

Jean was checking the oven but that sentence made him stand up and stare at Eren. Jean and Eren did not talk much and when they did it was mostly them bickering. It was not like they hated each other, but both had strong personalities and Eren was not the most comprehensive when it came to Armin. Jean understood him, though. Armin was his best friend and, to Eren, Jean was just a guy that showed up and won his heart, like others had done before. But, unlike them, Jean would never step on the most important prize of his life.

“Huh, no, there's nothing to do. Just watch them cook.”

“I see.” Eren seemed a little bothered.

“Huh, want a beer?” Jean asked, hoping to bond at least a little with Eren.

“Sure. Thanks. Eren sat at the table and Jean took two beers out of the fridge. Jean sat in front of him and opened the bottles, handing one over to Eren.

They drank in silence, unsure about what to say. Jean wanted to improve their relationship but he did not know how to approach him.

“How is it?” Eren asked, starring at the beer in his hands.

“How's what?” Jean rose his eyes.

“You and Armin.” Eren still would not look at Jean.

“It's fine, I guess.” Jean did not understand the question.”Did he say something? Is he unhappy about something?”  
Jean started to think about everything he could have possibly done to make Armin unhappy as Eren finally rose his eyes and stared at him. There was silence before Eren smirked, letting out a sigh.

“No. He loves you and I've never heard him complain about you. But that's what scares me. He doesn't talk much about his feelings. And I worry about him.” Eren admited.

“Nooo, _you_? _You_ worry? I don't believe that.” Jean mocked.

“Shut up, metallic-horse-face.” Eren smirked, not seeming to mind that much. "I'm gonna show you something and you're not telling anyone about this."

Eren started to open up his shirt and, well, it's not like Jean was  _bothered_ by it, but Armin popped up in his head at that very second.

“Are you stripping for me?” Jean tried to keep it cool.

“You wish.” Eren opened his shirt and showed Jean a huge scar on his chest.

“Holy shit.” The shock ended up leaving Jean's mouth.

“Yeah. This is from when I was around ten. My neighbour created dogs for fighting and once one of them got out.” Eren closed his shirt. “It ran up to Armin but before it could even do anything to him I jumped in front of it and let it get to me first.”

Jean was absolutely speechless.

“I was sure I was gonna die, but... It was either me or Armin, so..." Eren shrugged. "I love him like a brother. I would do anything for him. So when... When that guy betrayed his trust, humiliated him, all I wanted was to beat the crap out of him.”

“I can understand.” Jean confessed, feeling anger boiling up in his heart.

“That's why I couldn't trust you. But now, after seeing that look in your eyes, the worry you felt just because something might be wrong... You really love him, right?”

“So much I can't even begin to explain.”

“Then take care of him. Don't break his heart.” Jean was not sure if it was a request or an order, but it felt good to hear it. It was like Eren was finally starting to trust him.

“I won't. I promise.” Jean assured him.

“Thanks.”

 

\--------------------------

 

Jean left the kitchen and saw Bertolt outside of the apartment, alone. Wondering if something was wrong, Jean stepped outside and approached him.

“Hey! You okay?” Jean pointed at Bertolt and made the OK sign.

Bertolt confirmed with his head and smiled.

“(Shy.)” He pointed at himself.

“Oh. Well, let's talk then!”

“(Okay.)”

And there was silence. Jean had absolutely nothing to say to Bertolt whatsoever. There was some small talk, some explanations about what it was like to be deaf, but afterthat the topics were lost. After quite a few awkward silences, Jean decided to ask about Armin. Bertolt had told him it was hard to read lips all the time, so Jean started to type into his phone, to make it easier for him.

_**Would it be okay for me to ask about Armin?** _

Bertolt confirmed with his head.

_**Could you tell me about when you were in college?** _

Bertolt widened his eyes, apprehensive.

_**I know about the whole deal.** _

Bertolt seemed to calm down, nodding once again.

_**How did it get so intense? It was a big university and Armin seemed alone, if not for you. How does this even happen? No one talked to him after that.** _

Bertolt took a deep breath and looked at his feet.

“(It was not like they hated him, but... People think we are angels and do nothing wrong. They don't imagine deficient people live normal lives, that we can be bad people, we can sleep with whoever we want, etc. So those who felt sorry for him were too embarrassed to say anything. So he was all alone. It was a big university, but the rumor travelled fast. Even some teachers wouldn't look him in the eyes anymore. One of the teachers from the Visual Arts department tried to talk to them, he even talked to the principal but there was nothing they could do.)”

Jean listened carefully, processing every word. He felt anger at whoever had done that, but a certain satisfaction for knowing someone, probably Erwin, tried to help Armim. He and Bertolt had supported his boyfriend in the past and he felt extremely grateful.

 

\--------------------------

 

The party ended up being a good chance to relax. After his last one, Jean needed a moment to just enjoy his friends, have a few drinks, eat some deliciously bad food and have fun. Even after talking to Bertolt, Jean felt at ease knowing that Armin would never have to face that kind of situation again. Armin himself spent quite a while talking to Bertolt and Jean was glad he ended up coming.

Mikasa ended up coming a bit later. She was so stunning Marco even mocked Jean for starring so much. There was no way Jean would cheat on Armin due to his love for him, but he had to admit Eren and Mikasa made it hard for him not to fall for them.

When the party was over, the group started to clean up. Armin was doing the dishes and Marco was drying everything, putting it in their respective places. Eren and Levi had been “taking out the trash” for over ten minutes and Jean and Mikasa had been cleaning the apartment. Armin escorted Mikasa to her car and Eren and Levi walked through the door a few moments later. There did not seem to be anything different from when they left except for a few messy strands of hair and a brand new hickey on the base of Eren's neck.

After all of their friends had left, Jean and Armin prepared themselves to sleep. Jean was sitting on the bed, looking at one of his paintings when Armin crawled up to him in bed.

“Whatcha doing?” Armin hugged him from behind, kissing his shoulder.

“Trying to find out what's missing on this painting. Well, I'll think about it tomorrow.” Jean turned around, pushing Armin down on the bed, kissing him. “Let's go to sleep.”

“Yeah.” Armin had his arms around Jean's neck. ”By the way, Mikasa told me you were checking her out.”

“What!?” Jean froze again.

“Oh my God!” Armin laughed. “I could actually _hear_ the panic in your voice!”

“I-I have no interest in her!” Jean quickly stated.

“I know that, silly! I just wanted to tease you!” Armin was trying to stop laughing. “It was so much better than I thought.”

“You. Little. Shit.”

Jean pulled Armin closer to him by his leg, kissing him. Jean would be lying if he said he did not like the way Armin played with his piercings whenever they made out. He had played with Jean's tongue piercing from day one, but after a while Armin had developed the habit of caressing ones on Jean's ears too as they kissed. Jean did not know if it had something to do with Armin's heightened senses but he loved whenever Armin did that.

"You should get a piercing yourself, so you can do this all day long." Jean joked, their lips still in touch.

"But I like it because it's on you." Armin chuckled. "Do you think it would look good?"

It was the first time Armin had talked about his appearance so seriously. But Jean had to admit it would not look good. Armin's body was so perfect Jean could not possibly consider harming it in any way. Besides, Armin did not need anything to make him look better. There was nothing on Earth with that power. Except one thing.

"Maybe not a piercing, but... I'm sure a wedding ring with my name on it would make you even more gorgeous."

Armin's lips slightly parted and his eyebrows rose. No sounds came out of his mouth for God knows how long, making Jean start to panic. 

"D-Did you just... Propose to me?" Armin whispered, still in shock.

"Maybe I did." 

Armin pulled Jean closer by the nape and kissed him so intensely Jean could have mistaken him for someone else if not for Armin's taste. Jean was pushed back, ending up with his back against the bed before Armin finally let him go.

"Do you mean it?" Armin asked, his nails gently scratching the end of Jean's mohawk. There was a certain apprehension in his voice.

"I do." Though it had been a sudden proposal, Jean new it was all he needed in his life.

Armin kissed Jean's cheek and hugged him so hard it hurt a little, but Jean did not mind. He lifted his body, letting Armin sit on his lap.

"I'm loving the hug, but... I gotta ask for your answer."

Armin backed away, one hand on Jean's chest and the other wiping his tears as he denied with his head.

"No you don't, because it's obvious." Armin kissed him. "There's nothing I would like more than to marry you. I love you." 

"I love you too." Jean smiled, reassured.

The couple got under the heavy sheets and cuddled, warming up in their own heat before falling asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! ٩( 'ω' )و


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Jean is an aesthetic freak.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, everyone! I'm sorry for being late, as usual. Ugh. I was really insecure about this chapter and it took me a while to write it the way I wanted. (;ω;)
> 
> I hope you enjoy this last chapter!

Life is hard when you are an artist obsessed with aesthetics. Life is even harder when you are a blind man about to marry said artist obsessed with aesthetics.

“Jeaaaaan, pleeeeeease, just pick the flowers.” Armin sighed, supporting his head with his hands.

“I can't! These ones match the decoration, but this one is so beautiful and...”

“Then change the decoration.”

“I can't! The decoration is supposed to match our clothes.”

“Jean, honey, look... I love you. But if you don't decide this stupid flowers right now, I swear to God there's not gonna be a wedding.”

“Ugh, you're exaggerating. And this is a serious thing.”

“No, serious is the fact that we've been sitting here long enough for my bottom to get sore! CHOOSE THE FLOWERS!” Armin hit the tabletop.

“Okay, okay! White roses will be fine. Happy?”

“Thank you. Now can we go?”

“No, still have to choose the carpet to the altar and...”

“...I'm gonna cry. For real.”

 

\-------------------

 

Many hours later, the couple went back home. The stressful energy still lured over them like a dark cloud. Planning the wedding had been intense for them. Fights had been happening frequently, enough for their friends to notice.

Armin took a shower while Jean prepared dinner. Though they sat on the table to eat, nothing but a few words were exchanged. Jean felt guilty about the heavy atmosphere, so he tried to give Armin some space by doing the dishes and cleaning up the kitchen.

Armin sat by the piano and started to play. Jean knew it was his way of dealing with his problems and worries. He played a calm, beautiful melody which filled Jean's heart with peace.

“It's a beautiful song.” Jean commented, approaching the piano.

“Thanks.”

“Could you... Play another one?”

“Okay.”

Armin played another song and sang along with it this time. His voice was so beautiful it seemed like an incantation in Jean's ears. Those were the most peaceful three minutes of the last months. When the song was over, Armin did not move from his position.

“I was very... Frustrated today.” He said and Jean felt guilt filling his heart.

“I-I'm sorry. I just want things to go well, so I end up...”

“It's not about you. Well, not entirely. I was frustrated for... Not being able to help.” Armin sighed,.lowering his shoulders.

Jean widened his eyes, staring at Armin. It was the first time Jean had seen him so frustrated over the fact that he could not see.

“Armin, it's fine, baby.” Jean sat by his side and gave him a hug. “Don't worry about this. It's not like you don't _want_ to help. I don't mind, really.”

“But I do!” Armin held his hand. “I have never felt so useless and that kills me.”

“Babe, I'm sorry. I never wanted to make you feel this way. I just wantedin us to have a perfect wedding. I'm so sorry.”

“I told you, it's not you. And I know it's not me either. I'm just... Not used to this feeling of insecurity and I don't know how to deal with it.”

“Armin, I understand you, but that's just how it is. This is who you are, and even if I could have you by my side, picking every color with me, I wouldn't choose it. Because it's you that I love. Just the way you are. You're not helpless, and I promisse I'll never let you feel like that again, you hear me?”

“Thank you.” Armin leaned against Jean. “I love you.”

“I love you too. And I'm sorry for being such a pain in the ass.”

“It's okay. Just get someone that likes aesthetics as much as you do when you go pick something.” Armin chuckled.

“You wanna stay home next time?” Jean kissed his head.

“I think it's best. I can't help, you take too long, it all becomes a mess and we end up fighting. Maybe we should do this separately.”

“True, true. Then we'll just buy our tuxedos together. Is that okay?”

“Yeah, I think that's fine.” Armin smiled and kissed Jean's cheek.

“...Being married is hard.” Jean commented after a few seconds of silence and a deep sigh.

“It is.” Armin agreed with a soft chuckle.

“That's why I chose to face it with you.”

Armin blushed and hugged Jean, hiding his face on his fiancé's chest. It happened during the few times Jean said something so beautiful Armin foubd himself at a loss of words.

 

\-------------------

 

The wedding was so aesthetically pleasing for Jean he could not properly handle his emotions. The space was white and the decoration was mostly back. Jean loved colors, but on that day he wanted something chic and simplistic.

Jean's walk to the altar seemed like his aesthetic dream coming true. His best men Levi and Marco had ties matching the color of their respective eyes, which paired with Armin's side. Since Mikasa usually wore colored contact lenses anyway and Marco was a wuss when it came to touching his eyes, Jean asked her to wear lenses and match Marco's eye color. The lace on her dress matched that same color, like Marco's tie. It was something silly, but those small details made Jean so comfortable and satisfied no one dared to complain about it.

Like the space they chose to get married in, the room for the reception was white, with beautiful black and grey curtains and table cloths.

“It all looks so beautiful.” Jean said, during their first dance.

“I'm glad you're happy.” Armin smiled.

“I am. And even more to have you by my side.”

“Well, I'm glad you're happy about that _too_.” Armin chuckled.

“Yeah, y'know, I kinda gotta be. Do you know how much is costs to get a divorce?” Jean laughed.

“We'll find out soon if you keep talking about divorce during our first dance.” Armin pinched Jean's back.

“Ow! Okay, okay, fine.” Jean kissed his head. “I'll talk about it during our honeymoon.”

Armin gave him another pinch for that.

 

\-------------------

 

Five years had passed since their marriage. After Erwin's initial push, Jean worked hard to make a name for himself. He painted day and night, he got scared that all his effort would be for nothing, but he moved on. Armin had always been there for him, so he wanted to make something special for their fifth anniversary.

They stayed in bed until eleven. After five years together and with Jean's crazy schedule, spending such a long time enjoying each other was not easy. So they made sure to use that time well.

Jean sat on the bed, touching Armin's leg, admiring it's shape. Armin laid in bed, his torax covered by the white sheets. 

“You have a weird little mark here.” Jean commented touching a weirdly shaped spot on Armin's leg.

“What? Where?” Armin asked.

“Your calf, right here.” Jean chuckled. “It's funny.”

“Shut up!” Armin laughed, gently pushing Jean to the side with his foot.

“It's funny...” Jean pushed Armin's foot away and leaned in to kiss his thigh. “...Because it took me five years to find something that is not absolutely perfect in your body.”

“...S-Shut up...” Armin blushed and threw his pillow at Jean.

He almost missed, but managed to hit Jean in the arm. Jean grabbed Armin by the hand and pulled him into his arms. After a little more time exchanging caresses before they getting up and preparing lunch.

A few minutes later, they heard two knocks on the apartment door, followed by barking. About a year after Jean and Armin's wedding, Levi and Eren had made their relationship official by getting a dog. Rings on fingers were just not their thing. Jean and Armin got up and ready before they left their room. Eren and Levi's dog came running, barking and jumped on Armin.

“Ugh! Well, good morning to you too, silly pie.”

Armin greeted the only dog on Earth without a name. They had tried to give him one, but after a whole week of discussion, he became “dog”, “loser”, “cutie”, “destroyer”, and many more.

“'Mornin'.” Levi said, opening the fridge.

Eren brought some pancakes for desert and placed them on the table, sitting beside Armin, caressing his head for a moment.

“Good morning, Eren.” Armin smiled.

“'Morning.” Eren replied.

“Have you finished it?” Levi asked Jean, sitting down to eat.

“Yeah, I did.” Jean smiled. “Thanks for letting me have a permanent spot in your gallery.”

“No problem. It's good advertisement for it anyway, so everybody wins.”

“Wow. My name it good advertisement. Who would've thought.”

"Not me." Levi mocked and threw a piece of fruit to their dog. 

"So, what are you doing today?" Eren asked, pouring some juice for them.

"Probably staying home." Armin said.

"Which means, we're leaving to keep our eardrums intact." Levi mocked.

"Will you stop that!?" Armin laughed. "Go get him, baby!" 

The dog barked and Levi gave him the finger.

"Shut up, you traitor." Levi smirked. "Anyway, here. If you scratch my car, don't bother coming back."

Levi gave Jean his car keys, along with another set of keys and a significant look. Eren pretended not to notice it and continued to eat.

 

\-------------------

 

For dinner, Jean took Armin to one of his favorite restaurants. The environment was nice and the food was magnificent. They spent another half an hour chatting after they were done eating before Armin took a thin box and handed it over to Jean.

“Here. Happy Anniversary.” He said.

“Thanks!” Jean shook the box and had an idea of what it was.

He laughed as he ripped the wrap and found the newest _Mario Kart_ game inside and a sweet note written by Armin himself. Jean could tell because the letters seemed to have been written by a small child. It read “Happy 5th Anniversary! I won't wish for another 5 because that wouldn't be enough. I'll love you forever. Armin”.

“Dear God, who wrote this? A five year old?” Jean did not care about Armin's writing, but making fun of him was almost like his second job.

“JEAN!” Armin laughed and pushed him. 

“Ow, sorry, sorry!” Jean laughed. “Thanks, I really liked the present _and_ the card. And I'll love you forever too.”

Jean leaned in for a kiss.

“Now, let's go. Your present is somewhere else.” Jean said, paying the bill.

“Oh! Okay.” Armin got up and they left. “It better be something great to make up for your mean comment about my amazing card.”

“You'll see.” Jean smiled and got into Levi's car.

Jean took Armin to Levi's gallery. He had borrowed the key in advance and locked the door right after getting in.

“This isn't our house.” Armin stated.

“No, it's not. We're in Levi's gallery.” Jean released his arm from Armin's grip and turned on the lights so he could see better before taking Armin to one of his paintings. “Your present is a painting.”

“Huh... Jean, I have some news for you...” Armin chuckled.

“It's fine. This is a painting you can see.”

“So it's a magical painting?”

“Not exactly. On our first anniversary you made me a song and I've always wanted to repay that. To give you something that came straight from my heart. Well, you can't see but I thought a lot about how I could express my feelings to you through my art. So, at the risk of being banned from the art world for saying this: Please touch the painting.”

Armin was quiet, with a serious expression as he stepped forward and rose his hand, touching the painting in front of him. Jean had made the drawing more or less embossed, depending on the intensity he imagined the colors, so Armin could feel the drawing, as if he could see it.

“This... This is so weird.” Armin laughed.

“I know you can't imagine exactly, but I thought this would give you an idea of what my paintings are all about and...”

“This is _so_ amazing! Thank you!” Armin pulled Jean for a tight hug. “I could see it. I mean, I _couldn't_ see, but I _saw it_! You know?”

“Not at all.” Jean laughed. “But I'm glad to see you happy.”

“I am. I'm so, so happy.” Armin kissed Jean.

“Wow. All that for a painting?”

“All that because you understand me. You accept me for who I am and always tries to find a way for me to do what I can't, so I miss nothing. You listen to me, you pay attention to my needs and requests, you...”

“Armin, you don't have to thank me for any of that. I did nothing much.”

“Yes, you did. You feel in love with me, you saw good in me, but you also noticed my flaws, you argued with me, you treated me like a _person_.”

Jean sighed and gave him a hug. He could say many things but nothing would comfort Armin more than an honest hug. Jean understood what Armin meant and he knew it would never change. People would always see Armin as weak and helpless, but Jean would do anything in his power to make his husband feel like he could do anything. It was a promise he would make sure to keep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys so much for reading and I hope you have enjoyed the ending. I wrote this a few times, but as I said I was quite insecure about it. It never seemed right for some reason. Still, I hope you guys have enjoyed the ending! I think it finally worked out and I hope you feel the same way. ヾ(*´∀｀*)ﾉ I also hope you had fun with Jean's aesthetic nerdiness. Hahaha! 
> 
> Thank you for being there for me during this long, looooong journey (really sorry about the amount of unexpected incidents (´д｀) ) and for all your amazing comments and kudos!  
> I hope you enjoy my future works as well! ヾ(*´∀｀*)ﾉ


End file.
